I've worked with my company (public sector) for about 15 years now, in various roles and with different colleagues / managers. I have disabilities.
I've been in my current role for a year now, in the team for 3 years. Last year there was a restructure and a colleague became my manager No extra pay for her though, which I know she wasn't happy about.
I've known this manager for most of the time I've been in work and liked her but have seen a different side to her since she became my colleague and now manager.
To my face she is friendly, smiley, encouraging, supportive. She gave me the interview questions for a internal job interview which she wasn't supposed to do, she arranged disability awareness training for her team at my request, she lets me work from home whenever I want, she let me use my 'carried over' leave beyond March (which was the deadline for using any carried over from last year)
But there are things that make me uncomfortable too:
In emails she will type "THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND I'M GOING TO TYPE KEY THINGS IN CAPITALS AND BOLD AND UNDERLINED"
She will email me during my leave for non urgent things, but mark them as urgent, then not use the information I gave.
She has muscled in on some partnerships I set up and basically taken over and went I mentioned initiating this partner relationship, she removed it completely from the report and said to me 'It was me who set x meeting up' yeah but they wouldn't have been part of the meeting if you didn't know through me that this company would be good to work with!
I also think she is showing favourtism to new members of the team who have been in post for less time than me. Giving them more responsibilities than me.
She emailed me to say she had complaints about my hygiene "a few months ago", why not mention it then, and no one else in the entire 15 years of employment and my years of study before then, and in my volunteering work has ever ever mentioned poor hygiene. I shower daily, wear anti persperant, wash hair 3 times a week, wear perfume, wear clean and ironed clothes, get regular beauty treatments, wear makeup, don't drink or smoke. I come from a very clean family and believe me if my hygiene was poor my mother would be on me like a tonne of bricks. I feel very upset and hurt by this.
She has told me not to take my assistance dog into an internal job interview in case it distracts the interviewers. She has told me to take annual leave for disability related medical appointments. She has told me that 'maybe its for the best as it would have been too stressful' when I didn't get an internal promotion (I have mental health problems amongst other disabilities) yet at the same time, she emails me internal job positions on a weekly basis, and I don't know if she's being supportive or trying to get rid of me.
She has questioned that I take 'too many breaks'. My disabilities mean I get tired a lot and get headaches and fresh air helps. Also my dog needs toilet breaks. I try to fit them in during lunch but those of you who have dogs know that sometimes a dog just has to go!
Manager also has mental health problems and gets very upset at criticism. When she was my colleague she was emailing me to complain about another colleague (who has become one of my closest friends) I felt uncomfortable and spoke to our then manager who addressed it. Cue lots of sad emails 'I've been told off, I need to be careful, I'm very hurt, I thought we were friends"... I've also been accused of disregarding her input (she rewrote an entire report of mine when I only wanted suggestions / feedback from other team members)
I like my job but I don't like working with her and I don't know what to do or whether I am indeed being bullied? Am I just too sensitive? As I said there are times when she can be really nice and as she got upset at being told off before, I'm worried about the reaction to any action I took about her current behaviour.
Any advice appreciated!