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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Will I risk friendship if I raise concerns about friend? *Eating disorder related*

2 replies

IncyWincyMouseRat · 30/06/2018 16:36

I’m becoming increasingly concerned about a friend and her health but am unsure how to raise it with her or even if I should. She’s always been tall and relatively slim but in the last 6 months or so, she has become skeletal. She was always the girl who hated PE at school and I have to say I was surprised when she started running but at the time, this just seemed like a healthy new hobby. However looking at photos of her today, I wonder if it’s part of a bigger problem. We don’t live especially close to each other anymore but are in regular contact via a group chat and we get together as a group of friends a few times per year. I don’t know if raising this with her is going to do more harm than good. I know she’s unhappy in her current job and living situation so feel this could be contributing but I just don’t know how to help. I don’t want to be seen to be gossiping by bringing it up with our mutual friends behind her back but also am worried that maybe I’m overreacting (I definitely don’t think I am though - she’s probably 5’8 and a size 6 hangs off her) so am scared of being the person to bring it up.

AIBU to think she has a problem but be too scared to address it? (I know I am)

OP posts:
Medea13 · 30/06/2018 16:55

You are unreasonable not to say anything with the "risking friendship" excuse: your friend being alive but annoyed with you is clearly better than her dying from an ED. But going in gung ho will potentially alienate your friend without any positive effects.
You should get this moved to the ED subforum and you will get sensible, knowledgeable advice.

CanIhavedessertfirst · 30/06/2018 18:46

Having had an eating disorder myself, I can honestly say the best thing 2 of my friends ever did was speak to me about their concerns. It didn't automatically make me try and get better, but it gave me people to confide in. Recovery is a scary thing and your friend may be relieved to finally have someone to speak to.

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