Don’t know what to do about DS

[Helpwithson2]

He smells awful but won’t shower (autism) what do other parents do? I can’t stand it

Are wash wipes/facecloth and a bowl of soapy water an option?

Is it sensory related?

How old is he?

You need to post this in the special needs section, OP. AIBU is the most brutal place to post - most thread-starters wish they'd never been born after posting here.

Will he get in a bath?

How old is he and can you put your finger on what his issue is with washing?

Is it the water or something else?

Agree this may not be the best section for this. Also, if ypu repost, add in your ds' age.

Sorry, that’s probably really obvious. I just dislike the getting in a shower but a bath isn’t so bad.

It would be great advice to post in special needs if it wasn’t for the fact it’s tumbleweed.

There’s a thread currently trying to combat that OP, hopefully the SN boards will be up and running soon properly and the usual AIBU nightmare doesn’t happen on this thread.

They should show in people’s active conversations now if you have opted in

Bath?

My son has autism and hates the feeling of showers but will have a bath as long as he can control the temperature and depth. Could you offer to prop up a phone or tablet (out of splash zone) and let him watch YouTube videos in there if he agrees to bathe?

Would he go to a swimming pool? Or do you live by the beach?

I feel like I’m being told I’m not welcome here because of my sons needs.

I’m sure that isn’t what you mean but it’s how it’s coming across.

Bath? Wash in the sink with a flannel? Choosing new shower gels etc? Bribery? Sorry it’s not really that helpful, but not washing for ever more isn’t an option.

If I’ve made you feel that way then I’m very sorry OP, it genuinely wasn’t my intention. I think I, and the other posters, were looking out for you as AIBU + SN tends to turn into a pretty vicious thread because the trolls and nasty fuckers lurk round AIBU most of all.

I’m autistic, my kids are autistic, I’d never intentionally make it sound like you or your son weren’t wanted and I am genuinely sorry if I did.

I would suggest re posting in either parenting or chat with the issue in the subject line. Something like “ASD son aged xx won’t shower, advice needed”, you’ll get more people with experience answering then rather than people looking for a AIBU bunfight.

My autistic dc goes through phases off this. Forgive me if these are stupid ideas and I don’t know what his reasons are but this is what we do sometimes ...

Paddling pool fun, start off on outside playing standing outside it and eventually ends up in it. This also works with the bath. Will let him put whatever toy he wants in it.

Water fight...(can end in tears though)

Going swimming

Paddling in the sea (no good if you’re far inland obviously)

I feel your pain though.

No what people are saying is that if you want advice of people who know it’s more complex than the inevitable “just throw them in the bath and make them wash” type post then the SN boards may be more helpful

paddling pool with bubble wands???

I'm really sorry if you didn't like my advice to post elsewhere. I didn't mean post somewhere other than MN, just that AIBU can attract some nasty people.

Maybe Chat would be better.

There are a lot of people here who are autistic or with autistic children and I'm sure they can give you some great advice.

I don't think people should recommend a swimming pool for someone who is dirty.

@HollowTalk it’s full of bloody chlorine, it’s not going to affect you or any other swimmers at all.

@soddingunicorns nonetheless thats why there showers BEFORE you get in

What about a bath with glow sticks in you know like a sensory bath?