AIBU to want to try for a baby when I've just started a new job?

[FelicisWolf]

DH and I were planning on trying for a baby now-ish, but unfortunately I got made redundant last month. I have found a new job, and will be starting next week. The desire to have a baby is no less, but now I don't know how long is reasonable to wait? I don't want to piss them off and make it seem like I only started there for maternity pay, I would want to go back to work after (I think? This would be my first). What do I do? How long do I wait? I'm asking more morally rather than legally speaking

How old are you? If you’re in your 20s I’d wait 6 months to a year to settle into your job and make a good impression. If you’re 35 I’d just crack on. You might get pg first month or it might take years.

In any case, I would check your employer's maternity pay and conditions. I'm sure you know this already, but there are two types of maternity pay, occupational and statutory. Statutory is paid anyway, and everyone qualifies, but occupational maternity pay isn't necessarily offered by all employers, and there is usually a qualifying period before you can get it.

Hope this helps!

It's worth checking their maternity pay policies as you might be much better off financially by waiting for a few months. But otherwise I wouldn't hold back. It could take you months to conceive anyway, and you can't put your life on hold.

I'm 28, but DH is almost 37. He's desperate not to be an 'old dad', which I think in his mind is 40+ for first baby. I will check the contract for maternity pay conditions, that's a good shout!

Checking your maternity pay conditions is a good idea, but subject to that, I'd crack on whenever you feel ready to be honest. I am your age and we are trying for #1. Before we started TTC, I was very set on the idea of being settled in a permanent job and having all my ducks in a row. I did get a permanent job, but it was a horrible place to work and I was miserable. Had I not been trying for a baby, and then quite quickly fallen pregnant, I would have left much sooner as it was just a total dead end and the boss was a tool. As it turned out, I lost the baby. Thankfully I was able to leave the job a couple of months afterwards. Unfortunately I have since had 2 other miscarriages, but I am much happier in my new job. I am so thankful that I did not hang around in the old job on the basis that we were still TTC. It is very unlikely that you would be so unlucky OP, and as PP have said, you could get pregnant after a month and everything will probably go swimmingly. But my experience has taught me that when it comes to TTC, trying to plan everything too perfectly can be dangerous. I'd say get stuck into your new job, but don't put your other hopes and dreams on hold either. There are just no guarantees when TTC and I am very glad we didn't hang about too long - the one positive about our situation is that time is on our side.

For what it's worth, I've been a maternity cover twice, in situations where the woman got pregnant VERY soon into a new role, and no one really batted an eyelid. I'm sure there was some eye rolling and a few 'oh for God's sake's behind the scenes, but meh. They took 9 months off and then came back to work, end of.

At your age, I’d give it six months put everything into it and give a good impression. Then if it takes you 2-3 months to conceive and 9 months pregnancy you’d be doing 18 months for them before going off.

Obviously if there’s anything you haven’t mentioned I.e fertility issues then I would just get on with it straight away (allowing enough time to ensure any potential maternity pay would kick in)
Good luck.

I don't think you need to wait, you have to prioritise your life. Also if you plan to stay there a while you will be off at some point. Saying that, my morning(!) sickness started at 4.5 weeks this time, so you might want to give yourself 3 months or so to make a good impression. (Obviously might need to consider the mat leave policy).

Yanbu. You don't know how long ttc might take.

Check your contract for how long you need to be there to get maternity pay then go for it. You may get pregnant straight away or it could take a few months.

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind but I thought I'd post a quick update. I've just passed my three month probation (woo), and got my employment contract... which has no mention at all of maternity leave. The director mentioned in passing a comment about being eligible for maternity/paternity after two years (in relation to another employee), but this is nowhere to be seen! What do I do?!