To feel so guilty for having left him

[DitheringBlidiot]

Left the house after splitting up with my partner of 4 years. There were some brilliant times, I won’t lie and say it was all shit. But it was grinding me down, his anger rears from seemingly nowhere about the smallest things, he would get annoyed if I went out with friends and say I was “buggering off.” But some nights I would turn people down and we would just sit on the sofa in silence together. Apparently my friends are the ones who told me to leave him. I’m not 14 so can confirm this is not the case. Wasn’t a case of WANTING to leave him, but could see little other choice.

He has recently stopped smoking and has started eating better and looking after himself more. He said the break up came as a shock as he was trying to better himself but it was obviously a case of too little too late.

I don’t want to get back with him, even if it means moving back in with my mum but why do I feel so guilty!!

You feel guilty because you are a nice person and aren’t used to hurting people . You probably put other people first all the time ? However on this occasion I think youbknow that deep down he isn’t right for you.
Can you list the reasons why you have left him? Small things and big things

Because he is doing his best to make you feel guilty and get back with him.instead of guilty OP feel happy you are free of him and don't look back.

You may feel bad now because you have hurt him, but you have made the right decision, now you can both move on.

Imagine how much hurt would've been caused if you'd stayed for years, married with kids and joint finances etc. And then realised you needed to leave.

It's much kinder to leave now.

It sounds stupid but the one thing that upset me the most is he would never ask me how my day was when I got in from work. I feel guilty because I know he won’t be able to pay the rent and bills on his wage alone, whereas I have a few places I could go for a while until I could save up for somewhere to be. I’ve never had to split up with a serious partner before, as I’ve never lived with any of my precious partners so the “break” was easier. Whereas with this, there was no huge row it was just me coming to the realisation that things weren’t right and weren’t going to change any time soon. I suppose you always think things end with a bang and someone storming out, but this just kind of fizzled out and I packed a bag and said I was going to stay at a mates and I’d be back tomorrow and get some more stuff. Last night we went shopping so I made sure when I left he was all stocked up. That’s how ridiculous I am!