More a WWYD than AIBU. KIds fighting on road.

[January87]

This is going to be long because I don't want to drip feed. But what would you do in this situation?

We live on a quiet enough road. There's a bunch of kids who play together, could be up to 10 of them including my three DD's aged from 6 up to 9.

There's a little girl who is 7 (will refer to her as X) who plays with them and a few months ago I had a few problems with DD1 (9) coming in upset because this little girl wouldn't play with her. I just told DD1 to go out and play and not to mind the girl and they were friends again within a couple of days. Sometimes there are little spates but nothing major.

Over the past few weeks I've been hearing the DD's saying that 'so and so' (could be any one of the kids) are 'sneaking off' on them or 'using them' and I tell them to cop on that people can play with who they want and wtf does 'using' even mean (they can never give a good answer to that).

So the last two days I've heard that DD1 is 'fighting' with X again and I think nothing of it. I tell DD1 that she should just play with her and DD1 tells me that it's X that doesn't want to play with her not the other way around.

Today X's mammy has asked to speak to me, apparently, DD1 is telling all the kids on the road not to play with X or that DD1 won't play with them and X has been in crying and she can't have her in crying all summer long because my DD1 is the ring leader. I told X's mammy that I would speak to DD1 about it.

I have pulled DD1 and she swears blind that she has not told anyone not to play with X that X asks to play and they say yes only for X to turn around and go play with other people. DD2 and one of their other friends have backed this up.

So, what do I do? I've told DD1 that she is not to tell any of her friends they can't play with X and that if X is out she has to play with her (being honest I don't like the idea of having to force her to play with X if she doesn't want to because DD says she can be bossy). I fear that it's not going to be the end of it though because it seems this little girl is telling her mammy some lies about what is going on on the road.

Girls are so complicated right. My dd11 took a good few years to play with boys as she couldnt cope with the drama and said boys are always just happy to play.

It is tough parents naturally believe their own kids. Can you follow up to her mum with a message saying you have spoken to dd as promised and she has assured me that she did not encourage other s not to play with your dd and this has been backed up by other children. However you can say you have spoken to dd about the imporance of all playing together and how this makes playing more fun.

She will either accept or not. You cannot do much about this. As much as you may want to intervene kids need to learn these group dynamics and too much parental intrusion is not good. Obviously unless there is risk or harm or bullying. Just keep doing what you are doing.

Play with girls not boys

Welcome to the bitchy world of daughters!

Get her to play with boys so there's less drama.
Girls just don't play nice.

There are two lovely boys in the group, I honestly don't know how they cope with the bitchiness of it all.

Can you and the other mother talk to the 2 girls together?