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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask a question about non-molestation orders.

5 replies

TheOriginalEmu · 29/06/2018 08:22

Please help me, I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do anymore.

My daughter is in y9 of secondary school, she has had a boyfriend since before christmas who is in her class. this boyfriend has MH issues including suicide attempts. Over the last 6 months he has slowly manipulated and coerced by daughter into thinking if she doesn't do as he wants, he will kill himself, to the extent of cutting his wrists in the bathroom at school.
I remember being a teenager, and what happens when your parents say you can't spend time with someone. You do it anyway. So, at first I kept a watch and wait stance, i let him into my home, etc. but after he called her disgusting names in school, spread rumours about her and tried o cut his wrists in front of her at school, I decided I couldn't let them be together.
With the support of her friends, she managed to not talk to him and then he was excluded from school for a while and she was her old self again. until, yesterday he was back in school and we already have had an incident of her crying her eyes out and thinking she is the only one who can help him and all this stuff.
So, i've taken her phone so she can't contact him. but obviously they are in the same school. So, what do i do? Am I within my rights to tell the school to keep him away from her? they are aware of previous issues and have provided her with a counsellor at school. Is a non-molestation order against a child something I can do?
I realise this is AIBU, but i'm posting here for traffic, so i'd appreciate if you didnt rip me to shreds for allowing them to be together. I need help.

OP posts:
TheOriginalEmu · 29/06/2018 09:41

anyone? without wanting to sound desperate, i'm desperate!

OP posts:
Petrolismygas · 29/06/2018 09:51

Talk to the school.

It's happening in school hours on school premises so it's their responsibility to help.
Show the school any evidence you have of his coercion.

Involve governors, make it clear you will not sweep under carpet.

Explain to your daughter that he needs help. Not her, she can't help him in the way he needs.
Can you reach out to his family?

LeighaJ · 29/06/2018 09:59

I know you can get a non-molestation order to protect a minor but not sure if it can be against another minor.

You really need to talk to the school first and if they won't help then talk to a solicitor.

MrsAird · 29/06/2018 10:14

Unfortunately a non-molestation order is unlikely to help because the court simply won't grant one against a child of that age, as it could never be enforced.

What have the school said? What he is doing amounts to coercive control, it is clearly abuse taking place in school, and the school should have a policy about this.

TheOriginalEmu · 29/06/2018 10:42

i've spoken to school about it before, and they've spoken to him and his parents, but they haven't done anything. as i say he was out of school for a month, so i assume suspended? but i don't know.
i'm speaking to them again today. if i get no joy, then i will speak to the police/get some legal advice.

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