I've been with "d"p for 7 and a half years. This post may get long as I just want to get my current situation off my chest and for answers regarding the situation.
When we first got together he lied about his age.. A ten year gap ended up being 16 years, I found out when we already had a ds. I was 19 when we met.
The first 3 years were abusive physically. I wish I left then.
The last 3 years have been OK, and with some good times.
I can count on my hand the number of times he has looked after ds(6) and allowed me a break. He thinks because he earns 80% of the income that he is "King" and doesn't have to help with ds or anything.
He watched me this week running around working 9 hour days and still looking after ds and cooking and cleaning and then had a go at me because I wasn't doing enough with ds, he refused to do anything because he was "relaxing" after working so much!!!!!
He calls me an idiot, stupid, crazy, thick, dull.
I did a degree he spent the entire 4 years telling me how rubbish I was at it. I passed with a 2:2 (was working 24 hour shifts and had ds alone) and I don't work in that field now.
I teach now. He says I don't do enough and is always looking for more work for me to do.
Took ds to the park the other day and he spent the time telling ds he looked like an idiot carrying so much stuff (ds took toys to share with other children) he really kept going on at ds.
After a row yesterday he called me a slag and that I'm greedy because I've told him I'm going to leave. He said I'm greedy because he's out of work and I'm going when there is no money coming in.
When he's around I can't relax properly because I can't read books I like as "they're stupid and not educational" so I'm "wasting my time"
I've stopped my hobby I love because he sticks his two cents in and wonders why I can't do it naturally yet and it's because I'm shit at it apparently.
He's moody and grumpy and regularly swears and throws things.
I'm walking around with holes in my clothes but he blames me for spending all of the money.
His wages get paid into my account and apparently I'm ungrateful.
He says all I do is moan and serve him shit food after he's been working all day.
In the next breath he says I don't talk to him.
When I do talk to him I'm wrong, an idiot or get told to shut up or ignored.
He messaged another woman 3 months ago telling her how much he wants to see her in her pyjamas, and telling her how awful I am.
I am sure there is more, I'm nervous today because I want to leave, aibu to leave? What do I do?
Ds said to me a while back "we need to have more fun, I don't know when the last time we laughed was"
It's my duty to protect him isn't it. I'm mature now. I have all his debts in my name, that doesn't matter does it?