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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

GP sexual misconduct?

34 replies

diodati · 29/06/2018 06:31

I stepped on a piece of glass which needed to be removed surgically. I was on my stomach and as he left the room, he patted my bottom and left his hand there for a few seconds. I was too surprised and shocked to say anything at the time but am now feeling angry and sad. AIBU?

OP posts:
Melliegrantfirstlady · 29/06/2018 06:40

That is dreadful! Report him he’s probably done this to many others!

Hope you’re ok

Original poster
diodati · 29/06/2018 06:46

I'm afraid they won't believe me, that I'll be labelled an attention-seeking, hysterical woman. It will be his word over mine; there were no witnesses. He's been practicing in that surgery forever, he's at least 60. I keep telling myself not to be silly, to be grateful it wasn't worse, to forget about it but I feel miserable.

OP posts:
Grasslands · 29/06/2018 06:54

Was it accompanied with a “well done” “do you want any pain killers?” Or any other general chat? I’m really use to this (worked in a&e for decades) hands on approach. Everyone’s different but I’d assume he was being kind.

CantChoose · 29/06/2018 06:57

Really Grassroots?? I'm a GP and would not touch my patients bottom unless they had piles that needed examining...

CantChoose · 29/06/2018 06:58

An empathetic touch on the shoulder, fine. A bum rub?? Not so much...

KittyVonCatsworth · 29/06/2018 06:59

There’s a hands on approach and there’s inappropriate touching. If the doctor wanted to reassure the OP he could have quite easily patted her arm. Why on earth would he touch her arse if it was her foot he was treating.

I think you need to report it lovely. Heaven knows how many others he’s done this to and how many others haven’t reported it because of his position. It’s inappropriate and he needs to understand that. You don’t need to be hysterical just explain to the practice manager that it’s inappropriate and made you feel very uncomfortable xx

Doccc · 29/06/2018 07:03

I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m a male doctor- you just don’t do that kind of thing. Reading some GMC tribunal reports makes it clear that if the surgery won’t listen to you, somebody will. Speak up.

Articuno · 29/06/2018 07:04

So your gp surgically removed some retained glass? Without an X-ray to see how much there was? In a gp practice, straight away? Without telling you to just go to a&e?

That’s very unusual practice.

BrexitWife · 29/06/2018 07:06

Getting consent befire touching anyone is being drummed into any HCP. As well as the fact that if you touched someone wo consent (even in the arm, let alone on the bum) is assault.

I would report it. This is NOT acceptable, even if it was done with ‘the best intentions’

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 29/06/2018 07:07

'Reading some GMC tribunal reports makes it clear that if the surgery won’t listen to you, somebody will.'

This. You can find them on the MPTS site. I've read quite a few and this kind of thing is taken very seriously.

If this had happened to me I would be bypassing the practice manager and going straight to the GMC, tbh.

Oldagepensioner · 29/06/2018 07:07

Not acceptable! Just before I went in to have gynae surgery, my surgeon squeezed my foot gently and that was okay and quite reassuring.

Blobbyweeble · 29/06/2018 07:10

I may be being stupid but most GP’s I know wouldn’t be attempting to remove a piece of glass in the surgery. It would be done in A&E after X-rays. Why is this being done in a surgery?

Articuno · 29/06/2018 07:13

And why was it being done without a chaperone/ assistant to pass tools?

Notenjoyingtheheat · 29/06/2018 07:21

Do you think it was intentional or could he have been aiming for your back? Not excusing it but seems very odd behaviour.

Procrastination4 · 29/06/2018 07:34

Re.having glass removed at GP's surgery- I had a tiny sliver of glass in my foot for almost a week. I had dropped a plate-one that was similar to the opaque-type Pyrex bowls- on the kitchen tiles and it shattered, scattering slivers of glass everywhere. As I was wearing slippers at the time, a tiny piece went into my slipper and I somehow trod on it, but didn't realise it.A few days later part of the sole of my foot was tender and had a little black mark on it so I assumed it was glass. My first port of call was my GP, and he removed it.
Therefore, it is quite possible that the OP had glass removed from her foot at her local GP surgery also.

lottsagain · 29/06/2018 07:39

I'm sorry you experienced this. 5 years ago ( I was 21 at the time), during an abdominal examination, my GP cupped one of my breasts for approximately 15 seconds. I too was stunned into silence and bolted out the room the second I could. I moved out of the area shortly after so didn't pursue the matter. I do feel guilty that he's probably doing the same now. If I could go back in time I would tell someone that I was violated.

Mysticbottom · 29/06/2018 07:45

I had something similar happen to me once, but it took me until afterwards to fully compute what happened. It was about ten years ago now. Was at a ENT specialist and he kept resting his forearm on my breasts. Not just accidentally brushing, it was sustained contact during the examination, and it happened several times. Naively I thought he mustn't realise Hmm.

Aeroflotgirl · 29/06/2018 07:48

Very inappropriate, might just have been a little piece of glass that could be removed within a GP practice.

Original poster
diodati · 29/06/2018 07:56

After administering the local anaesthetic (deeply into my affected heel, even though I'm almost certain the glass was still in my tough old skin
and that hurt so much I had to bite the pillow to keep from screaming), he patted / stroked me on the curve of my lower back. It hurt like hell, so the pat-stroke was okay. Sort of. But when the glass was out, he showed it to me, recommended I invest in a good hoover, and patted my bottom, leaving his hand there for 1-2 seconds and left the room. Ugh.

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 29/06/2018 07:58

I'm afraid they won't believe me, that I'll be labelled an attention-seeking, hysterical woman. It will be his word over mine

Believe me, this won't happen, OP.
I'm married to a GP and I can assure you, it won't be a case of his word over yours. You will be taken very seriously and this will be dealt with in the most professional manner.

Original poster
diodati · 29/06/2018 17:37

It's hard to know what to do. I certainly don't want to have this man treat me again, or my DC. He must have known such behaviour is unacceptable... or maybe not? I just don't want to make a fuss!

OP posts:
PollyChockola · 29/06/2018 17:52

What would be the downside to reporting this?

Original poster
diodati · 29/06/2018 17:56

Downside would be his word over mine and being labelled hysterical.

OP posts:
PollyChockola · 29/06/2018 17:59

Labelled by who? And how would you know if someone did think this of you?

The his word against mine thing... yes that’s true, but what’s the downside to this? It’s just a statement of fact that it would indeed by one person’s word against the other. What’s so bad about that?

zzzzz · 29/06/2018 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.