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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this boy is effectively bullying my Ds

4 replies

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 28/06/2018 22:39

DS10 has ASD, very high functioning, recently as I’ve posted here before about it he’s been having problems with one of the boys he used to be friends with. It’s been going on a year but has got worse the last few weeks. The boy is a bit of a loner and sometimes so is my DS, most of the time he plays with his close circle of friends though and this boy will not leave him alone, screaming in his ear, pushing, taking things off him and then running to the teacher acting like a victim. He’s caused my son to have several meltdowns at school the last few weeks causing all sorts of havoc. We spoke with his teachers and the deputy head and SEN teacher have put an email to keep them away from each other which is fine, they swapped my son to a different sports day group. Get a call today asking if I could meet my son at school as opposed to halfway like normal as he had an accident in swimming, nothing bad just banged into someone. Get to school to find out it’s said boy who apparently saw my son behind him and launched backwards knocking in to DS who now has a massive gash on his forehead. They shouldn’t have even been together in the first place but he’s just finds a way to irritate my DS. DP went mental and called the school, deputy head is now pissed with swimming teacher for putting them together and it looks like it all gonna kick off tomorrow. Surely more punishment should be issued for the boy as nothing’s been done.

Sorry it’s a long one, just need an outsiders perspective so as not to go completely insane.

OP posts:
DontMakeMeShushYou · 28/06/2018 22:53

It sounds to me as though the school are on board with supporting your son but the message hadn't got round completely. It will have now. I wouldn't go in all guns blazing as you want to keep them on side.

You don't and won't (at least shouldn't) know what punishment the other boy has received. You don't need to know.

You need to go in to school tomorrow and talk calmly to the HT/SEN/Deputy/DS's teacher and ask them how they intend to keep your son safe now that the situation has escalated. You need to keep your focus on your son and his wellbeing, not on what punishment the other child is receiving.

I hope your son is on the mend soon.

user1457017537 · 28/06/2018 22:57

Don’t be calm, be outraged on behalf of your son who has a gash on his head and could have been knocked unconscious in water. It really isn’t good enough that the little shit hasn’t been severely reprimanded previously. Don’t play nice

DontMakeMeShushYou · 28/06/2018 23:08

Please ignore user145. I think she is mistaking calm for weak. Do stay calm. Calm, firm, authoritative, factual, and insistent. What went wrong with system for ensuring the two boys were kept apart? What will they do to make sure that mistake doesn't happen again?

And I repeat for user's benefit, what punishment the other child receives is none of your business. It makes no difference to your son because it is not the punishment that will keep him safe; it is the measures the school will put in place to keep them apart.

Unless the satisfaction of revenge is more important than your son's safety wellbeing. Then fill yer boots!

user1457017537 · 29/06/2018 09:59

Dontmskemeshushyou you don’t need to repeat anything for my benefit. Do far the school have been inadequate in separating the two boys and their protocols haven’t worked. I will repeat for your benefit the danger I believe the Op’s DS was put in by being hit on the head whilst in water. The school are not taking his safety seriously.

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