AIBU to ask if it's possible that your DP is not your best friend?

[Elasticity]

I'm sure we all see on MN as well as all other the internet and in real life chats people stating that their girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/husband/wife is their best friend.

I just can't get my head round this. Currently single but in the past I would always classify my partner as something very different to my friends and would say I have a small group of best friends, with my partner just being well... my partner.

In particular I feel like there are certain things you would discuss with friends more easily than a partner and can't see my view ever changing on this. That's not to say I'd keep big secrets from partner or anything, but for some issues I would discuss with best mates first or go to them first for advice.

I'm also the kind of person who gets easily suffocated and need my own social group to escape to from time to time without partner. I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest if my partner was the same.

I also wouldn't be bothered if my partner admitted I wasn't their best friend. It makes sense to me.

Is anyone else in a successful LTR/marriage where you both woukdnt consider each other "best friends"?

Or is anyone in a LTR where one of you hasn't reciprocated that you are best friends? What's the vibe like?

Different strokes for different folks!

My husband is my best friend and in fact he was for several years before we were together romantically... I could and do talk to him about absolutely anything and everything. Ive never been closer to anyone...

But im well aware that is some peoples idea of a nightmare. Some people would find that invasive and not want that from a romantic relationship.
I dont think what I have is 'better' its just what I want and so better for me!! Some people have perfectly happy relationships with people who they dont consider their best friend.

The only problem is if you and your partner arent on the same page about it.
If you are both each others best friend.... or if you are both more interested in having another best friend and keeping a bit of emotional distance in the romance, then it usually works out well....

What I really dislike though is you do get the odd woman friend who will act like you are mad for not wanting the same things as them....
I have had this from a friend in the past who could not understand my close relationship with my husband and would tell me it was unhealthy... she was single and had never had a long term relationship really... which is fine thats her choice... I just wish she had some respect for other peoples choices!

In previous relationships I would not have said my partner was my best friend - I had other best friends who I might confide in and talk about things that I wouldn’t necessarily tell my partner.

With my current partner I would defibitely say he is my best friend: he is the first person I want to tell about anything and there is nothing I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with him.

So no YANBU, it totally depends on the dynamic of your relationship and there’s no right or wrong.

I dont really get the whole 'best friend' thing. I hate being called it and I don't use it for any of my friends, they are all different and better in different ways.

My dp is the one person I tell everything and the person I laugh most with though. I trust him more than anyone.

My DH is my friend, my lover and partner in life. He’s not my best friend. Sometimes we have deep chats, but mostly we just get through life, managing life and the children. He irritates me at times, but it’s not surprising after 20 years.

I have a close female friend. We don’t call each other besties though! I talk to her about some things I wouldn’t talk to him about. I have other women friends who I value highly.
I think me and DH were best friends when we got together, but not anymore.

7 billion people on the planet and guess what they're not all the same! Another I can't believe everyone is not like me post on mumsnet. My other half def' my best friend thanks deary.v

Is anyone else in a successful LTR/marriage where you both woukdnt consider each other "best friends

Yes.

Me & OH have a happy and good relationship. Share most things. He's my friend. Not my best friend, tho. I've known my best friend since 1960s. We've discussed everything from boys angst to birth woes, toddler woes, bawled together when our DCs left home for Uni, oh shit it's mammogram time.. everything. We can have a 2 hour phone convo screaming with laughter reminiscing over this & that. Friends for life.

None of that means OH isn't my friend. It's just different. I don't tell him everything about my best friend as her personal business isn't his. We talk about a lot of other stuff tho.

I wonder if men would describe their partner as their best friend, on the whole. I suspect their answers to this question would make very interesting reading

I wouldn't have said it about any previous boyfriends but my DH is definitely my best friend