Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


In wishing that life didn't have to be a constant struggle?

11 replies

Janos · 24/05/2007 22:15

I know, moan, moan moan!

It just feels like I am being pulled every which way at the moment.

I'm a single mum and I work. At the moment it feels like I'm not doing a very good job of either.

Due to work related issues my salary is going to drop (having to go down a grade - performance problems related to horrendous personal issues). I know that in reality I should be able to manage but still it's an extra hassle. Don't get a massive salary as it is. Plus I am going to lose a day at home with my DS

Trying to support my very seriously depressed friend who has threatened suicide twice in the last month

DS' (2 and a half) behaviour is getting so awful. My lovely good natured boy has turned into a shrieking, tantrumming, stroppy little horrorbox. From the moment he gets up, tantrum, tantrum, argue, argue, argue. ARGAARGH!

XP owes my DM and DSD some money. Stalemate. Guess who is stuck in the middle and gets it in the neck, yup, ME. AAARGHHH!!!!

God, I just want to go to bed for at least a week and pull the covers over head.

Yes I KNOW there are people worse off, I just needed a good old bloody whinge!


OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 24/05/2007 22:24

Poor you, Janos, you're having a tough time.
Any reasons to be cheerful???
Any plans for the future??


Janos · 24/05/2007 22:29

I do have reasons to be cheerful. Elasticwoman, don't want to sound like some moany old beast (esp as I'm only 32).

I just feel very 'hassled' if that makes sense.

Am getting a bit tetchy and irritable with, well, just about everyone which isn't good. I just want to throw a a big toddler tantrum and roll around on the floor sscreeching 'WAAGH!! Leeeeeave meeeeeee allooooooonnneeee!!!'

OP posts:

snowwonder · 24/05/2007 22:41

i am a single mum who works aswell,

i found my dd very hard work at that age, but she has come through the other side and is now 3.5 and is a much happier child,
to be honest in the end i just had to ignore her when she was moaning etc and she hated that..

planning fun things to do makes a difference to me, as i find the weekends a struggle... i work in the week so the time flies.

hope things get better for you soon


Janos · 24/05/2007 22:52

Well I'm glad to hear it gets better snowwonder.

Trying to plan more fun things sounds like a good idea. I'm in a city so there's plenty of stuff to do and nice parks a short bus ride away...he LOVES ot climb

OP posts:

cat64 · 24/05/2007 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MNersThisIsBigMother · 24/05/2007 23:20

hi janos,

not brill with the advice as am a learner mammy and take it a day at a time cos I havn't managed to find 'the book' yet!
I can tell you that I'm also a single working mother and I know the bad days all to well. Won't go in2 detail cos I'm pretty sure you don't wanna hear my whilst dealing with your own but I will say that you're not alone. Our specific circumstances mite be different but the feelings of 'loosing it', 'not coping' 'failing' are natural and prove in themselves that you are a good person...if you didn't give a then you wudn't be on here tonight and I really believe, contrary to the popular saying 'selp praise is no praise' that you need to take a deep breath and be proud of the jobs (inside and outside the home) you are doing. Have a good cry(I swear it helps) then be strong cos this too shall pass.

chin up ;)



snowwonder · 25/05/2007 16:31

hi janos,
does your little one see his dad? so you can get a break..

planning things def helps. i used to hate sunday mornings as a single mum, so now we go swimming every sunday morning, our area does a things called passport to lesiure, for people on tax credits etc, and we go swimming for 70p for all 3 of us..

also sometimes i make there lunch or tea and if its sandwiches we just pack it into a bag and go and eat it at the park,

and i always check the local paper for events happening..

best of luck


bluejelly · 25/05/2007 16:41

God I was feeling exactly like this the other day, so tired, so drained from working full time and being a single mother... You are so not alone.
Best thing I find is to have a night out with friends. Really gives me a boost.
Also the toddler thing will get better, 2 is bloody hard work, 3 is much much better I promise!


paulaplumpbottom · 25/05/2007 16:42

Sorry you are having a tough time


Judy1234 · 25/05/2007 16:50

J, poor you.

First that sounds like a normal 2.5 year old. Just love and hug him a lot and give him 5 positive comments for every negative.

Second ditch the friend. Your responsibility is to your son, not the friend. Or put them on hold for 6 months - just say nicely you have too much to be involved. It's not fair on you or your son.

Third, can you help your mother sue your ex partner to get her money back? Does she know she can sue on line with a credit card, send in bailiffs etc if necessary?


Janos · 25/05/2007 22:22

Oh, thank you all so much for your sympathy and advice! It is just so bloody exhausting really and it's done me some good to just put it down on the page.

Makes me realise that things 'aren't that bad'.

Just to address a couple of points that people have been thoughtful enough to offer advice on;

You made a comment about backing off from friend (dumping is not going to happen atm); I'm really trying to do this but it is hard.

As for the money thing, I didn't know that and will mention that to my DM&DSD (although realistically I don't think they'll take that option, good to know its there though).

And DS was so lovely this evening. Reminded me why I love him to bits!

Maybe it's just a weekend kind of feeling.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?