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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a friendship with such a large age gap at this age is odd

132 replies

User700800 · 28/06/2018 16:57

My 16 year old god daughter has recently started a part time job in retail. She's become friends with a young woman who works there who's 22 and they are now spending a lot of time together. I myself have friends quite a bit younger or older than me. I just think at this age the difference is surely too great?

OP posts:
AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 28/06/2018 18:56

Jesus I must be odd then!

A group of ladies ranging from age 17 to 45 met doing a hobby and we’ve kept
In touch, have an active group chat and regularly meet up to do things relating to our hobby. Hmm

iklboo · 28/06/2018 18:56

My best work mate is 26, I'm 48. DH is 41 and going to be best man at his 22 year old mate's wedding next year.

PollyChockola · 28/06/2018 18:57

I Find it odd because I matured a lot at that age and was a lot different from how I was at 16. I just don't understand how it's possible for them to relate to each other. As I've said I have friends that are a lot younger or older than myself but it's different once both people are adults and have more life experience etc.

Maybe your DD is a bit more mature at sixteen than you were Smile

At 19 I had a really close friend of 40, still best friends a decade later. And at 22 I had plenty of friends aged 16-17 through working at the same place who I’d have enjoyed meeting up with outside of work if I’d had the time.

Age does not dictate someone’s personality and interests. Maybe you’ve only known some very immature/odd sixteen year olds.

Original poster
User700800 · 28/06/2018 20:07

Seems views are divided. 22 year old doesn't drink really so it's not something I'm worried about.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 28/06/2018 20:09

What are you worried about then?

TheNoseyProject · 28/06/2018 20:11

Nah normal. Esp if 22 year old has siblings. I’ve always got on well with people c. 5-6 years younger than me as my sibling is. Even at that age.

RebeccaBunchLawyer · 28/06/2018 20:14

My best friend is a decade younger, I have other friends who are older. No biggie.....

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 28/06/2018 20:15

In itself that age gap isn't an issue. Depends what exactly your concerns are.

SickOfSitting · 28/06/2018 20:21

When I was 17 I worked with all women who were over 45! We used to go out for dinner regularly Grin

kw1091 · 28/06/2018 20:23

I’m 26 and one of my best friends is 19. We’ve worked together for 2 years and get on like a house on fire. We’ve been away for long weekends with another girl that is 22. I’ve never found it strange.

Itsveryhard · 28/06/2018 20:25

Views are not divided!! Most say it's fine.

WilsonPhillips · 28/06/2018 20:27

I had a Saturday job at 16 and became good frjends with a colleague who was 23. 25 years later we're still very good friends.

Topseyt · 28/06/2018 20:34

I don't know what thread you are reading, OP.

I've followed the whole thread. Views are not divided. It is almost unanimous. There is no issue here, people don't understand why you seem to want there to be one.

In light of your last post, I can understand even less of your "problem", and I didn't think there was one in the first place.

I hope you haven't aired your groundless doubts to your goddaughter.

Wanttomakemincepies · 28/06/2018 20:40

I feel a drip feed coming...

Tunnocks34 · 28/06/2018 20:42

Yeah my best friend is 35, and I am 29. We met when I was 17. Not weird at all to me.

BlueLightPanda · 28/06/2018 20:48

thats ridiculous OP, i was friends with a 17 year old when i was 22 through work.

i looked out for her when things weren’t going well with managers etc.

I’m also friends with someone in his 60s through work and i’m in my 20s. we get on so well and have lunch regularly.

YABU You need to get over your weirdness.

Applepudding2018 · 28/06/2018 20:50

TBH I can see why this may be a concern - if the 22 yr old friend was leading the kind of life I led at 22 (clubbing, drinking too much etc) I would probably be a bit concerned that she may be influencing the 16 year old into an lifestyle that hopefully was a couple of years away.

Not saying this is the case but I can see why you may be worried.

Secretsquirrel101 · 28/06/2018 20:52

Don't be daft 🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm a 24 year old woman and am friends with guys from 17 to 67 at work. It's not weird at all!

Zfactorstar · 28/06/2018 21:41

Um, the views are not divided. It's pretty universally that it's normal. How boring would life be if we limited our friends to people close in our own age.

9amTrain · 28/06/2018 21:44

Views divided. 😂

Topseyt · 28/06/2018 21:45

Apple, OP say the 22 year old hardly drinks and no concerns there.

PollyChockola · 28/06/2018 21:50

Lmao at ‘views are divided’ because OP didn’t get the answer she wanted 😂

Original poster
User700800 · 28/06/2018 21:50

Thank you for all replys I'm very protective of her due to things that have gone on in her life. I do think this friendship is helpful for her wellbeing and that's all that matters really.

OP posts:
The80sweregreat · 28/06/2018 21:52

I hope it’s all ok. She will be fine but it’s nice your keeping an eye on her as well.
6 year gap isn’t that bad.

TitzillatheHun · 28/06/2018 21:53

I am 33, I have some really good friends in their 60s and 70s. Plus I recently met a neighbour's daughter who I get on with well, and she is 20. 6 years is nothing.