Miserable MIL

[fedupwithMIL]

I think my username and subject says it all but I feel I need to vent and find out if anyone else would be annoyed?

I have been with my fiancé for 18 months lived with him for 4 months, got engaged relatively quickly after meeting (14 months is that quick?) and since then his mum is unbearable. From the phone call we made to tell them the news, 2 minutes of congratulations and then immediately back to herself for 15 minutes. then regarding the wedding planning, we booked our venue and then took her to go and see it (literally the day after) because we thought it would be nice to show them but didn't necessarily want a lot of peoples input as to which style venue we wanted as this one had a sentimental value behind it. My dad has kindly offered to pay for the venue so he was involved when we whittled it down to two venues only (more because he wanted to know what the packages included less about which one was nicer).

Anyway, when we took her to view the venue she had a face like thunder the whole day. We paid for lunch (£90 for 4 of us) and she didn't say thank you and got in the car before saying goodbye and expected me to learn into the car to give her a kiss goodbye. I didn't expect her to massively involved because the wedding is over 2 years away, but I did expect a smile here and there and a comment about potential themes but nothing she literally had a stone face the whole time. I don't know why but its upset me because I feel like she isn't excited or happy that this is happening? yknow my dad is paying an awful lot of money for this and basically gifting it to her son but she cant summon up the effort to smile or say 'oh that hotel room is lovely' I don't know what I was expecting but I just feel hurt.

my fiancé has been married once before and it ended in a fairly clean divorce with no ties back to the ex wife. I'm becoming hesitant about the wedding and upset because of the lack of emphusiasm from his family, I feel unliked and unwelcome in her company now because of this experience. do you think I'm being unreasonable to say that?

How often have you met Mil before? I can't tell if she's a miserable cow, just having an off day, in hidden pain, dislikes you.or anything else from what you've written. But if you're already reconsidering marrying this bloke because his mum was a bit grumpy at lunch (who was the fourth person?) perhaps you're not really ready for such a comittment.

Was she relatively nice ' pre' wedding stuff?
My MIL whilst doing my head in over really non consequential things is essentially very kind and caring. She would never have behaved like this over wedding ' things' - we took them to see our venue in excitement and out of respect almost immediately after choosing it.
My SIL , on the other hand ( her daughter ) would have been the type you describe, as she is essentially a jealous woman - and cannot see beyond her own life or be happy for others if it's perceived to be more/better than she has or has had. Could it be this?

What sort of person is she? My mother never looks enthusiastic, if she's not actively moaning, you know she is happy!

You're marrying your fiancé not his mother.

My MIL was a complete bitch! The day we announced our engagement (we’d lived together for 4 years!) she cried non-stop - throughout supper and all night apparently!

How dare I marry her little darling! He should have become a priest, (then she’d have him for ever)

To cut a lovely long story short, we were happily married for 19 years until he died.

BUT, and this is a huge one. He ALWAYS backed me if she was being vile.