AIBU or must I give off an aura that says “struggling”?

[EvilMorty]

Whenever I see anyone I vaguely know on the street, or the mums at the school gates, I am instantly asked “rough day?” and offered advice on the children. No socks today? (No, it’s 28 degrees) Baby sleeping? Won’t sleep later though ay? Noticed your 2yo doesn’t speak much, have you tried talking to her more? That ones missing a sock (yes, he’s enjoying chewing it, thanks). That one needs a haircut (we are growing it).

If I mention that I’ve done x or y in the day, I get a shocked look like REALLY? You are brave!

I should state that I do have a grumpy face sometimes without realising but this morning it happened when my eldest ran ahead a little way in the school playground while I waited with the middle one on the apparatus and we arrived laughing. And I always thought it was because I looked quite young but I don’t actually do anymore 😂 Kids are always clean, well turned out, never been late for school once, eldest is towards the top end of the class, I probably do look quite dishevelled because I’ve got 3 and there is a very small gap between the youngest ones but my minimal make up is always done and hair brushed. I’m not wearing pyjamas to drop off or anything but the kids are my priority, not my outfit.

Do you think I give off an air of “frantic” mum, perhaps. Or are people just looking for a conversation opener and assume 3 kids always equals a “rough day” (today and most days are lovely actually. I don’t feel at all frantic)

I get this too. Watching your thread for answers. I think I'm too polite and don't blow my own trumpet so people see me as a wuss.

I have three, all close in age. I get this all the time, its all I hear now. Toddler groups, school drop off, park. Perhaps over sensitive but people always seem to mention the missing socks, or the fact that my child had not yet put his cycle helmet on, not filled out preschool book often enough etc. If I mention going to the library, park or a walk in the woods with kids, they say " your brave" or "how do you cope"?They mention things and conversation over.

Same. I have 3, youngest two have a small gap, just over a year. What I find most annoying is that if they took the time to actually ask me something else other than all the little digs, they’d find I am a very active mum who takes the kids out most days (we even go to central London sometimes with the double buggy and get back in time for pick up) and I don’t need mollycoddling at all. I’m first at the school gates every morning because I drop DH off on the way. You would think the more children you have, the more people respect your abilities but that’s not the case. Sometimes it’s like they almost want you to say you are run ragged.

Very active here too, just get on with day to day life as we all do. Two dogs as well and we go for daily walks, kids cycle, scoot, walk or smallest in buggy. All I hear is "how do you manage"? Same as everyone else does, I adapt and manage. I swear they want me to break down sobbing.