To be annoyed/upset with driving instructor

[Mamapig1985]

Posting her for traffic (pardon the pun!)

Been learning for 11 months and test is booked for 3 weeks time. It’s been a long difficult journey as I suffer with anxiety so confidence has been the biggest hurdle. There’s also a lot going in with work/family/pregnancy although I won’t go into detail as that could be ‘outing’.

Had a 2 hour lesson today and instructor abandoned a mock half way through because I made a mistake at a set of traffic lights (essentially shit positioning meaning I had to go straight on rather than turn right as she had instructed me to do). At no point was I a danger to other drivers and didnt panic. She stopped the mock got me to pull over and basically said I’d gone to pieces (which afterwards I pretty much did due to being pissed off!)...ignoring the bloody inch perfect parallel park I’d done minutes before! 😡. At the end of the lesson she said I’m just not ready and is now pushing me to take more lessons before my test. I don’t know what to think. Maybe I am genuinely as bad as she suggested today (says I’ve got worse over the last few weeks) or maybe it’s a ploy to get me to spend more money?

Feel like I’ll never be ready and confidence shot to pieces after today!

Any advice much appreciated. If I don’t take my test in 3 weeks (which she won’t let me do in her car unless she thinks I’m ready), then will potentially have to wait till after baby is born as I’m 6 months and there’s a 3 month wait for tests currently at my test centre.

TIA

Change instructor.
I was doing lessons for 12 months and still instructor said I wasn't ready. My confidence became really low.
I changed instructor 2 months ago and have passed my driving test this morning.
New instructor gave me so much more confidence and didn't rinse me for money like the last one.
Good luck x

Tell your instructor you still wish to take the test you have booked. You are the customer. If she doesn't agree, then find another instructor.
Also consider restricting your lessons leading up to the test to one hour. Tell her you feel that's a long enough time to be driving without a break and change of position when you are pregnant, or something like that.
Just to encourage you. During my driving test, I took the wrong exit at a road island, not the exit that the examiner told me to, I still passed the test because I was driving properly.

New instructor. I was very anxious learning and quite jumpy. I had an instructor who was utterly amazing - she ‘got’ me really well and I passed first time with her - I was in my 30s and also pregnant. I failed twice in my early 20s and had been totally put off.

Try a new teacher who specialises I’m nervous pupils.

I was like that in the weeks before my test, especially because it was hot. I did pass, but it was a surprise.

Are you practicing a lot between lessons?

I have anxiety too. I personally found multiple 1 hour lessons per week more useful than longer ones. Also, I think you need to make it very clear to her that she should not stop a mock test unless there’s a danger to the road & if she does it again you will find a new instructor.

Change your instructor. I was with a woman at first who was quite shouty and I found her stressful. One time she shouted at me and I bust into tears and started shouting a swearing back at her. She stressed me out and I was paying £26 a hour for the privilege.
Your a learner, your going to make mistakes.

I changed my instructor had a hour and a half a week with him. He kept me calm and he taught me to drive in a very logical way, nerve shouted once and less than 3 months later I passed first time with 4 minors

I changed instructors as i was getting nowhere with one man.
within a few months i passed! this was a long time ago now.
sometimes its the thing to do with driving and learning.

Take your test. Even if you don't pass then you'll know better what to expect the next time.

Your instructor was terrible for doing that. I hit the kerb the first time I did a mock test and still had to finish even though I knew I had failed.

Change instructor. O had an awful one who was taking thr mick and not teaching stuff at all just aimlessly driving about. Current one has been fantastic.

@TheIsland I am going out with DH in our car between lessons but today my instructor said I should stop doing that as she thinks it’s made me worse?! 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

The more I reflect on my lesson today the more annoyed I am...she got me to pull over at one point and had a go at me for ‘not properly checking’ my mirrors before signalling to turn left at a junction. When I argued I had definitely checked before indicating she responded ‘yes I know you always check, but you aren’t properly checking and observing...’ WTF?! I checked my bloody mirror what more does she want me to do?! I literally have no words 😡

I had an absolutely horrendous first instructor who was a dick and tried to squeeze money out of me every which way for months and months. Total arsehole. Failed my test with him several times. I thought I was a shit driver and would never ever get it.

New instructor years later and passed within 1 month. Total confidence in me and I would say (as would others) that I’m a very good driver actually!

Take the test anyway, and if it doesn’t go to plan change instructor!

Also the thing my wonderful instructor ALWAYS said was “nicht hudeln!!” Which means “don’t hurry!” In English - very good advice. Just be calm and take your time.

To be fair, on the mirror issue, you have to really overdo it to pass the test. I used to flick my eyes over and my instructor made it really clear to me that I had to turn my head.

But do the test, you may well pass, and if you don't, ask for local recommendations for another instructor. Do you have a local Facebook group you could join where you can ask for local tips?

Obviously just going on what you are saying but it sounds like she's almost trying to dent your confidence so that you'll think you're not ready and sign up for more lessons. In any event, your trust and confidence in your instructor is gone; if I were you I'd get a new instructor asap and get fresh eyes on the situation. Any decent instructor will want you to pass your test - even if they only have to do 3 weeks of lessons with you.

As for the position/lane you were in - in the test, even if you go the wrong way, as long as you are driving safely and proceed correctly per the lane you are in and don't cut people up etc... then you'll be fine. If that happened to me in a test situation I would calmly say to the examiner "I have realised I am in the wrong lane for the direction you gave me; in order to proceed safely I will be going straight on/turning/whatever is correct for the lane I'm in..." - chances are they'll respect that and give you further directions to bring you back onto the correct route. You wouldn't be the first or last person to go the wrong way in your driving test! It's not a fail - it's only bad if you try to correct it by carrying out a silly/dangerous manoeuvre.

Don't let it get to you - get a fresh opinion/instructor - and take it from there! Chances are you're doing great! :-) x

@crispysausagerolls I am a firm believer in taking my time... especially with manoeuvres but she told me today I overthink manoeuvres and take too long! I wasn’t obstructing any other road users at any point when doing my parallel park today and waited until the road was clear. Thought about what I had to do, adjusted my mirrors as needed and did it within a minute or so. Obviously not quick enough for her 😕. In one breath she will tell me to get going because I’m going 2mile an hour under the speed limit and then she tells me I approach roundabouts too quickly in the next breath (I don’t). Then I’ll slow down appropriately for the next roundabout and she will tell me i slowed down too much 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m either hugely shit or she is taking the piss!

I was told before my test that it didn't matter if I went the wrong way, as long as I'd done it in a safe way, and then corrected course (in a safe, road legal way).

Instructor was rude and unprofessional, if as you say, everything you'd done was safe/legal

Thanks everyone general consensus so far seems to be change instructor! 😬 I’ve got 8 hours prepaid left with this one then i’ll start looking for local recommendations. If I have to delay my test then so be it. If she won’t let me take it in her car in 3 weeks I’ll have no choice but to cancel and rebook it

Can you do the test in your own car? I did with mine - as long as someone with a licence is available to go up to the test centre with you it certainly used to be fine.

Just change your instructor. The problem with insisting you want to take the test as planned is she can refuse you the use of her car.

It sounds like you can not do any harm by trying a new instructor. I had six instructors in total over eight years. I was told by several instructors that I would never be able to drive.

I passed my test at 38 and a bit weeks pregnant.

Good luck, you will get there.

@Stopclimbingbob thank you it’s reassuring to hear a positive story! I’m on baby #3 and need to drive now really as negotiating public transport with a double buggy isn’t going to be fun! I’m 32 aswell so no spring chicken! Have found this whole process just horrible so far!

Is she an independent or with a group? If she isn’t an independent call the main office, explain you have lost confidence in her ability to teach you and ask for an alternative teacher.

If she’s an independent tell her you’ve cancelled the test, see out your remaining hours and take the test in the car you drove when you’re practicing with your husband.

Test is booked in your name not hers.

You can take test in any car. So long as insured obviously.

Would you be having 8 lessons in the next few weeks anyways?

As surely she would have to refund you anyways. So worth an ask?

Test is booked in your name not hers.

You can take test in any car. So long as insured obviously.

Would you be having 8 lessons in the next few weeks anyways?

As surely she would have to refund you for some anyways. So worth an ask?