To ask for advice on getting a little present for a four year old autistic boy

[LaDilettante]

I wasn’t sure where to post and hoping to get some advice here. There’s a little boy who is autistic in my DD’s nursery group who turned four a few days ago. His parents brought a cake and some party bags and all the kids celebrated his birthday at nursery.

This little boy was invited to my DD’s birthday party but didn’t turn up at the last minute because he was having a bit of a bad day. My DD still got a card and birthday present from him later on. So I kind of want to return the favour and because my DD often talks about him and says he’s her friend, I just think it’d be nice to get him a little something.

For background, he seems to be in his own little world so doesn’t really communicate with other people but I’m pretty sure he says some random words sometimes. He likes music and it’s often used to soothe him when he gets a bit agitated. And he seems quite fascinated by letters and numbers as in he likes to play and manipulate the wooden ones.

Any idea of what I could get him?

Thank you all for your suggestions. I think I’ll ask the parents what he likes just to make sure I hit the right spot. I often bump into his mum and dad as we pick up our kids roughly at the same time.

My DD is very sociable and very thoughtful for a three year old. It’s always nice to see that they don’t have any preconceived ideas about other people. I hope it lasts !

What a wonderful person you are. I wish there were more of you in the world!
Some lovely ideas on here. Personally I would avoid the 'Bunchems' they look great but pretty catastrophic should they get tangled in hair!

You have made me smile today x

As a Mum to a 5 year old with asd (who also loves numbers) your post is really lovely. Normal Lego is too small and fiddly for my son, but he still loves playing with duplo and loved the duplo number train, combining his 3 favourite things. I would have word with one of he carers at the nursery to find out what he likes playing with if you were unsure but wanted it to be a surprise.

It always makes me sad to hear about kids with disabilities being excluded from birthday parties. I didn’t know he was autistic when I invited this kid to my DD’s birthday party but I could see he clearly had some sort of special needs and wasn’t really communicating. I just thought his parents know if he can handle a birthday party, in which case come and celebrate. If not, they can always say no. Sadly, I suspect a lot of people don’t ask because they don’t give a shit.