To ask if you always think there's two sides to every story?

[Twosides2]

If you've been dating this guy for a while and meet his family, and they tell you bad things about the ex wife. Do you think "wow can't believe she did that", or "hmm.. there's always two sides to every story".

I've a fair idea of the story been told about me and I'd say it may be accurate in parts but there will be a LOT of ommision about the causes/provocation.

There's always another perspective. Even if a person has told their truth it will still be one skewed by their emotional state, their life experiences and their perception of how the person said it etc.

@Brakebackcyclebot ... BOOM exactly ... what you say about another says a lot about you ... I think people forget this when they are beating their own drum!

moondance Yes! Perception is projection. What you notice in others is often a reflection of yourself!

His family aren’t necessarily lying but that doesn’t mean that they are telling the truth either.

They won’t have the whole story, they’ll have his story plus their perceptions and assumptions.

Their perceptions and assumptions will sometimes be wrong.

I met an old friend’s new wife recently. She made several statements about his first wife which were unfair, only partially correct and just plain wrong.

She wasn’t being deliberately nasty, she was partly repeating what she’d been told and partly jumping to the wrong conclusions.

Wife no 2 is a nice woman. I quietly put her right on all points.

In my experience the “truth” is whatever that individual feels puts them in the best light

Only facts are ever really true

Going through this thing at the moment. This individual grossly misrepresented something to me, to such a degree it could be considered a lie.

In their eyes they have upheld their end

We aren’t both right. The burden of proof now falls to me, or his “truth” becomes “the truth”

His family aren’t necessarily lying but that doesn’t mean that they are telling the truth either.

They won’t have the whole story, they’ll have his story plus their perceptions and assumptions.

Their perceptions and assumptions will sometimes be wrong.

I met an old friend’s new wife recently. She made several statements about his first wife which were unfair, only partially correct and just plain wrong.

She wasn’t being deliberately nasty, she was partly repeating what she’d been told and partly jumping to the wrong conclusions.

I quietly put her right on all points.

Apologies for the double post - I’m not sure what’s going on today!

Yes, whenever I hear of any thoroughly unreasonable behaviour I think " there's another version of this story", or sometimes "what did you do to bring that on? " Or both

His family won't know the whole story.

My ex told everyone I had 3 affairs. I wasn't unfaithful once in 20 years. It was merely to distract them from the fact he was violent.

Tread carefully OP.

I'm a bit wary when people are quick to run down others. Dh was a new divorcee when we met and although the marriage had failed he didn't run her down.

We were getting very serious before he divulged the juicy details and likewise. It was once we'd fooled each other that we weren't embittered losers that we dished the dirt on our exes. Any earlier and it would have put me off.

@Brakebackcyclebot ... I will take comfort in that