Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To encourage my ds to make new friends?

3 replies

bobstersmum · 28/06/2018 11:09

This could be long but I'll try to make it shorter. Ds is 5 and in reception. He has some sensory /autism issues ongoing watch and wait now after full assessment as academically he is doing fantastic. He is quite shy and struggled to make friends but ended up with a few friends in his class. One boy is very very boisterous, I have made friends with his mum and I like her a lot. We have play dates out of school but each time it results in my ds being hit, often repeatedly by this boy. The mum does not do very much. Apart from a half hearted telling off (sometimes nothing at all if she hasn't directly seen it happen).
My ds has been telling me lately that this boy has been trying to stop him playing with the other two friends that they have at school. I have noticed that he's more reluctant to go to school lately and this is upsetting because he had recently come out of his shell a lot which was a big achievement for him. I spoke to the teacher yesterday to voice my concerns and she said she would try to encourage him to play more with another boy that he naturally seems to like playing with, this other boy incidentally is also quite shy and does not seem to have made a firm friend. So yesterday I gave my number to this other boys mum so that we can arrange a play date, she is very happy about this for the sake of her boy. But why do I feel like I'm doing something wrong? I am worried about telling my friend that we are going to see this other boy at the weekend, but I do not want to offend her by saying well your child is always hitting mine! For the record I have not discouraged my ds to play with the first boy at all, I will let him make his own friends. But aibu to try to encourage a new friendship if it might end up cutting the old one out?

OP posts:
SummerBaby8 · 28/06/2018 16:46

YANBU

It is usual for children to have lots of different friends in any case and you are doing the right thing encouraging your DS to make new friends.

You don't have to justify your DS having other friends and it is not as though you are preventing your DS from remaining friends with your friend's DS. I wouldn't worry about mentioning the weekend play date, and as long as you don't mention to your friend the reason for the sudden play date then she has no reason to be offended.

This way you are giving your DS the choice of who he plays with.

Hope it goes well x

bobstersmum · 28/06/2018 19:52

Thanks for your reply! I didn't know whether I should just keep out of it all but obviously don't want my boy being hit all the time!

OP posts:
SummerBaby8 · 29/06/2018 11:46

I wouldn't mention anything at this stage to try and prevent upset.

Maybe just keep an eye on things- discuss it with your teacher and DS.

If it continues or seems to worsen then maybe have a gentle word with your friend, but hopefully by introducing your DS to other children it will give him the confidence to either play with others instead or move away if your friend's DS continues with the boisterous behaviour.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.