Teacher mailing DS on personal mail

[ReallyIsThatSo]

Name changed regular-ish.

DS’s Head of Music wrote to say lessons bill overdue. Replied CCing ex who pays bill and thought no more of it.

I then get another email apology straight after for formal email tone prior as he’d just realised who he was writing to with a ‘ha’ smiley emoji!

I’ve never met him.

I confiscated DS’s teenage phone the other day and had a motherly snoop and saw a couple of emails from said Head of Music who’d sent a couple of music parts for a play they were doing. Nothing dodgy in the content at all.

BUT I thought it was odd because they have a school email system to communicate and also, he’s had to ask for the personal address. My son’s given it.

Obviously, after tonight’s random email - I’m now wondering what the actual fuck is all that about.

Teachers don’t mail kids on personal email addresses FOR ANYTHING, do they?

Or am I being ridiculous?

I’m pretty sure this bloke is going on the school residential next week.

My DS and ex both have their surname in their email address.

Am I getting carried away? What would you do???

Tell the HT. Not acceptable.

How old is your DS? I collect 6th form students’ email addresses so that I can send out messages and resources to the whole group. I occasionally send out individual emails, e.g. with missed work. They rarely check their school emails, so I find this works better.

i am a teacher, we can email on their own personal email address if that's what the student prefers but we must always email from our school email address.

Many students prefer to have emails to their gmail or whatever as they don't regularly check their school email.

I am not sure what the email from head of music means though so can't help you there. It is a bit odd. Could you.ask your ex if he has any idea?

The college system we had was really slow and totally crap.
It could be this reason the teacher is using his personal account but it really isn't a good idea and I would be slightly uncomfortable with it if it was my child receiving the emails too.
Maybe just keep doing your motherly check. And remeber to check the deleted email bin also.

totally depends on the age of your son. older pupils and teachers will often communicate through personal email account as can be used for contact out of school hours.
I know in my school too some pupils had a great rapport with the head of the departments they spent most time in. I think pretty much everyone from my year at school has kept in touch with at least one teacher

Really depends on how old your child is OP?

Thanks for your input.

DS is 14.

His old school would send everything via parents. Or school system.

I’ve worked in schools and I would’ve thought that you’d not contact a pupil directly for your own safeguarding and to ensure no blurred boundaries.

I’m really uncomfortable with it.

I wouldn’t be if he were 6th form. He’s just not quite at that stage in my head yet and I’m not sure I want teachers having my DS’s personal email as it’s not been given on SIMS etc.

Really unsure how to deal with this.

It’s only in the last hour after flicking through my inbox I’ve absorbed the sequence!

I’ll speak to DS and XH tomorrow.

Thanks. Good to know it’s not unusual. I’m really uncomfortable with it but at least it’s not unheard of.

Well if it comes from teachers school account then it's still in the school system? I don't think it's a biggy frankly.

Is there anything inappropriate in the emails that you have seen? In what way would it have been different if the teacher had sent it to your son's school email address? I can sort of see what you're saying, but I can't really see how it would make a huge amount of difference which email address is used if the expectation is that your son will read it and that those in charge at the school will be able to access it if need be.

I’ve just looked.

It’s not the school email address he’s used.

This is as dodgy as fuck and I’m reporting it tomorrow.

But thanks for the heads-up.

That does sound worrying - I hope you get some reassurance tomorrow.

It's wrong because it's subject to misinterpretation/misunderstanding. Any teacher should know that.

Your boss at work wouldn't ask for your personal email so as to email.ypu there, would they? You would email each other via work system.

It's not appropriate and I would get it stopped. Don't 2nd guess yourself just because it's a teacher.

The teacher's put himself in a vulnerable position by using his personal email rather than his work email. Our code of conduct says that we shouldn't contact pupils or parents via our personal email, but that might not be the same in every school.

You've seen the content of the emails and they seem ok, so I wouldn't leap to any rash assumptions. It's just as likely to be thoughtlessness as it is anything untoward.

It would be sensible to report this, but for your sake (and your son's and the teacher's) I wouldn't go in all guns blazing. Just say that you are concerned that this communication isn't going through the official system.

Totally fine if it were from the school account and your DC were in sixth form. Otherwise, it is likely to be against the school’s own safer working practice guidelines. They are likely to be on the school website.

Why are they ccing chasing up billing with a 14 year old?

I'm currently a private music teacher only so don't have a school email address. But I have upon occasion asked for pupils emails so I can send them music/ recordings etc. Part of this is because once they are teens and I send it to the parents, it never seems to reach the pupil and they don't do the work (or that's their excuse!). It's just easier to relay what I want done direct than through a parent who usually has no clue what I'm talking about!

However, I've taught many years in schools and all correspondence went through the school. I didn't send a single letter or email without running it by the head of department first.

Unless the content rings alarm bells it's almost certainly innocent, so don't over panic. When I was in school it used to take forever to get emails and letters through the system, and time is often of the essence with music stuff (I still always used the system though). It won't hurt to raise it with the school.

You said "I then get another email..." So who did the music teacher think he was emailing? Your name would have come up in the inbox? Or did you reply as your son?

My kid's teachers often sent emails to their personal email addresses, as kids rarely look at their school email account. However, the emails were all from official school accounts. Once they were in sixth form college, that seemed to kind of reverse - teachers sent things from their own email accounts, but always to the kids college accounts. At sixth form, so much communication was through the college system that the kids all checked it.

It’s the fact he mailed ME with the weird ‘sorry for formal tone, I just realised who I was mailing ha’ smiley that freaked me out. Could’ve been a mistake but no follow up to say ‘sorry, wrong person?’

We’ve had the odd mail about lessons starting and he sends a text to tell me the lesson time each week.

He’s apologised for not giving me info once, but not enough chat or familiarity for a ‘ha, smiley face’ ending to a mail.

My son seems to get on with him and there’s nothing dodgy in the content of the mails with the music parts he sent to him.

I’m not happy about it though.

If they asked at the start of the year whether they can mail your kids private email, I wonder how many parents would say ‘yes, no problem’. I wouldn’t. I’d say dS’s school email address or via me.

We teach them internet safety and tell them not to converse with adults online etc. In a school or lesson environment a teacher is in context. Outside of school I’m sure they wouldn’t want to be contacted by pupils on their private mail?

Most teachers I know change their name on social media so pupils leave them be.

There has to be some sensible boundary for safeguarding both sides.

This is frankly bizarre and annoying and at most, quite worrying.

If the school email system is slow, then maybe do what we did and give a paper handout in the lessons instead?

I’m really annoyed about this. It’s unnecessary worry I’m sure, but where’s the common sense?

You’re not even allowed to first aid a child on your own in a school these days but you can private mail them, really??

I must be odd. This wouldn't freak me out.

I would monitor it tho

have you checked your son's deleted items folder for emails he may have deleted?

DS school, teachers email students from their school accounts and send copy to parents account until child is 16/ end of year 11 , whereupon the copy sent to parent ceases. Is this not standard practice?

OP, can I suggest that you look on the school website - there will be a policy on there about this, I'm sure.

If you can't find it, I would phone reception & ask which policy this situation would under - e.g. safeguarding, communications..? (No idea what it would be called, but it will be covered somewhere.)

If you can't find it, ask what are the procedures for staff contacting pupils. The receptionist won't know but could find out.

Armed with that information, I would then say that you have concerns about contact regarding a teacher and your son, and ask who the relevant person is.

I would do everything via e-mail because you then have an electronic trail of it. Personally I would rather that than call up & ask to have a conversation about it, which obviously leaves you with no evidence of what you/member of staff have said.

FWIW I would feel the same as you.

I'm surprised nobody has suggested you ask your DS? Maybe there is some element you don't know about. Ask him!

I'm just wondering if your ex is a regular late payer of lessons, and the teacher knows your son is embarrassed by it so was just trying to make light of it.

It's probably nothing serious. I think you should speak to your child first and then simply send a message to the school requesting that they stick to school only emails.

I think its a huge step to worry about this teacher going on the residential! There is no indication that this is a bad person. No hatm in letting them know politely that you are reading the mails though.

LamOMEE

But teachers are told about the boundaries - it's instilled in them, they are not even supposed to be in a room alone with a pupil with the door shut.

A teacher will be well aware that they should not be contacting pupils via their own (the teacher's) personal e-mail account.

It probably is completely innocent, but even so, the teacher should follow the correct procedure, which is in place not only to protect the pupils, but also the teachers from innocent messages being open to misinterpretation and suspicion.

The teacher is a fool for getting into this situation, & over stepping the boundary. I would be suspicious and would also have concerns regarding the residential.

Presumably if the music teacher is going on a residential, he is a permanent member of staff, providing additional music lessons at school? Surely e-mails regarding outstanding/late payment would come from the finance team/officer? Would teachers in a high school normally get involved in the finances?