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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teacher question

26 replies

QuickNC123 · 27/06/2018 23:35

IF your child’s teachers close family member was a convicted peadophile would you want to know and how would you feel?

OP posts:

MrsKCastle · 27/06/2018 23:41

I think on the whole I would rather not know. But I would also hope that most teachers would not remain close to a convicted paedophile, even a family member.

Bumble1830 · 27/06/2018 23:41

Not sure why you would need to know? Family member is never going to be at the school and child is never going to be near family member. Just because family member is a pedophile doesn't make the teacher one.

MaisyPops · 27/06/2018 23:44

I'm not convinced you need to know.

My mother could be an axe murderer and murder kittens and people with brown hair for fun and it wouldn't have any impact on my ability to do my job properly and with professionalism.

Unless of course you believe in criminal activities are contagious.

Sararob28 · 27/06/2018 23:45

No reason for you to know, like said above you'd think the teacher would have nothing to do with that person and eve if they did it wouldn't have anything to do with the school.

RoseanneBarred · 27/06/2018 23:46

Op, if a close family member of yours was, would you want everyone to know?

Fruitcorner123 · 27/06/2018 23:49

No it's not relevant and doesn't make them more likely to be a danger to your child.

LuluJakey1 · 27/06/2018 23:52

I think there is a law now that says if you work in a primary school and a partner/ close member of your family has committed a sexual, violent or drug crime and you continue to lve with them, you can be dismissed.

Mistressiggi · 27/06/2018 23:53

You only need to know if you think either they will have access to your child through the teacher (vvv unlikely) or that you think the teacher is an accomplice/of a similar disposition.

HildaZelda · 27/06/2018 23:56

Why should it matter? I have some very shitty relatives (not paedophiles I hasten to add) and I'd be quite upset if anybody judged me based on my relatives.

AppleKatie · 28/06/2018 00:00

I would not want to know.

I would want the head to know because it is for them to monitor the suitability of their staff. And I think for example, continuing to live with such a person (after their release from prison) does call their judgement into question.

I see no non pitchfork related reasons for anyone else to be made aware.

If I did know I would feel uncomfortable with the knowledge and wish I didn’t tbh.

ReginaPhalange20 · 28/06/2018 00:01

No need to know.
It'd be almost like punishing and shaming the criminal's family just for being related to them.

Fatted · 28/06/2018 00:04

I would imagine that something like this would have to be declared to the school and any teacher who actually values their job would stay well clear of said family member.

Not everyone is actually close to their family. I would imagine if most decent people knew their relatives were pedophiles, they'd cut them off.

steppemum · 28/06/2018 00:08

as PP said, if you LIVE with someone who has a conviction, then you yourself become a risk.

Apart from that, I would hate to be stained with the impact of someone else's behaviour.

I do actually know someone who this applies to. Her ex dh. From the moment the police turned up on her doorstep, and she knew something had happened, she changed locks, kicked him out, wouldn't let him near their kids etc.

He ruined their lives, and in rebuilding she has found a job in a school (a job she did before meeting him too) and I would actually be furious is some interfering busy body told people at school her history.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 28/06/2018 00:16

A living partner? Of course, and I would make sure my kids are kept well way from that creep - you can't trust someone with a child when they are basically condoning pedophilia.

A family member? I might be worried the teacher had been a victim and had unresolved issues about it, but I don't think pedophilia is contagious and people should be punished because of a relative!

DontMakeMeShushYou · 28/06/2018 00:17

Not necessary to know and I don't think it would bother me. Paedophilia is not hereditary.

What would you do with the information, OP?

crunchymint · 28/06/2018 00:18

You do know lots and lots of people will have a relative who is a convicted paedophile?

DontMakeMeShushYou · 28/06/2018 00:22

You do know lots and lots of people will have a relative who is a convicted paedophile?

And lots and lots who will have a relative who is a not-yet-convicted paedophile. Think about that for a moment.

cariadlet · 28/06/2018 00:23

I'm a teacher and a parent. In both roles I'd want the Head to know, but I wouldn't need to know.

All members of staff at the school where I teach had to fill in a form earlier this year. I can't remember the details because I could just put "no" for every question. It definitely asked if there was a member of the household eg spouse, cohabiting partner who had particular convictions. I can't remember if it also asked about relatives who didn't live with you - probably not.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 28/06/2018 00:23

(That's by way of agreeing with you crunchymint)

moira123io · 28/06/2018 00:36

No.They're not responsible for another persons behaviour under any circumstances.

Not sure how it is in the UK but in NZ where I did my quals they ask those questions when you apply for the course. Don't think they'd accept you if you admitted to it.

RideOn · 28/06/2018 00:37

I think if the teacher was in a romantic/partnership relationship it would affect my opinion of them and I would be wondering what other poor judgement they had. Also (in my innocence) I would like to think teachers feel strongly about the protection and safety of children and they would not stay with a partner with a conviction of this type. So I would want to know and the head to know.

If it was the teacher's parent or sibling I wouldn't want to know. If they lived with this relative, maybe the headteacher should know, but no-one else.

I don't know anything about it, but would a paedophile be less likely to reoffend if relatives who know their history are keeping an eye on them? Or if they still have family, they still have something to lose by reoffending?

I would feel sorry for the teacher that they had to cope with this too.

PurpleNailVarnish · 28/06/2018 00:57

Anyone recently DBS checked has to declare as part of their application that no-one they live with has a conviction for being a paedophile.

GunpowderGelatine · 28/06/2018 01:00

Teachers working with children under (I think) 8 have to declare if they live with anyone convicted of a sex crime.

If they don't, if it's just a family member, it's nothing to do with them and no business of the parents - unless they are bringing said peadophile to class (doubtful)

TheLittleThingsLikeVodka · 28/06/2018 02:08

I have a close family member who has spent time in prison (not a sex crime though) I’d hate it if people thought I couldn’t do my jobs because of their actions.

Pengggwn · 28/06/2018 07:12

I don't think parents would need to know if, say, my brother or my father was a paedophile. Why would they?

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