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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I persist with doctor appointments until I get my way?

29 replies

Foodarella · 27/06/2018 20:27

I have two DC. The youngest recently turned 3. When she was born there was an obvious bulge on her stomach. After an ultra sound doctors said that the bulge was due to the lining in her stomach not fully closing and the bulge would be inside bits squeezing out. I'm sorry if I'm decscribing it badly. They said in most cases it would heal itself and it would be needless to have surgery on something so simple. The doctor could see I was unsure about it and said, every year after her birthday book an ultra sound so you can see if it's getting bigger, if it's closing or just a general check up.

I felt a bit better about this. After her 1st & 2nd Birthday I took her for untrasounds. The lining hadn't closed but bulge wasn't that bad. Anyways it's her 3rd Birthday so I go to the doctors to book an appointment, he reads her notes, doesn't even check her tummy and says she doesn't need an appointment. A couple weeks past and I have to take her for another appointment but I noticed the bulge is seeming really big. So I bring it up again to another doctor, who just reads the notes but again doesn't look at her tummy, she even draws a picture to help with her explanation. I'm not happy but there's nothing I can do about it I feel so I leave.

Anyways their dad drops them back on the weekend and pulls me aside about the bulge, saying have I noticed it's gotten bigger and just looks odd, and I said yes and that I spoke to the doctors but they won't refer for an ultrasound. He accused me of being lax and not fighting harder for our daughter and how could I be so easily fobbed off. But I don't know what to do. I'm worried because he's noticed it also so it means it's not only in my head. But how can I get an ultrasound for her if no one is even willing to look at her stomach.

Would I be unreasonable to book weekly appointments till I got one? But it seems like such a waste and a drastic thing to do, but no one is taking any notice of me.

OP posts:
Alwayscommuting · 27/06/2018 20:34

I'd say push. If you know your daughter then you know somethings not right. I'd book weekly appointments and I'd tell them why. My cousin was ill completely different symptoms but she was fobbed off for months until it was too late. My aunt blames herself for not pushing harder.

moreismore · 27/06/2018 20:36

Go back. Insist they examine her stomach. Push for an ultrasound.

MIdgebabe · 27/06/2018 20:37

Don't tell the, what to do..i.e. Don't say we must have an ultrasound, but do go back and ask what the lump is and ask why it is getting bigger and ask what the risks are ...ask loads of questions. Ask if they could reassure you by actually looking at it.
Doctors ( like many people) hate being told what to do, so appeal to their wisdom...flattery , eye lash fluttering you know the drill. IT Is possible that ideas and recommended treatments have changed

If they don't actually look at the lump, take it higher.

CluedoAddict · 27/06/2018 20:38

Do you mean a hernia? My Dd had hers fixed at 2 years old.

LovelyBath77 · 27/06/2018 20:38

I would go back to the original one which told you to do the yearly ultrasounds and discuss it with them. sometimes a bit of continuity can help

3luckystars · 27/06/2018 20:38

Just go back and have it written down that you are noticing the bulge more and are worried. Then say you are not happy.
Ask her dad to go with you to the appointment if you think you are being fobbed off.
Just go back and and ask to be referred to someone who specialises in this. Best of luck.

LovelyBath77 · 27/06/2018 20:38

just ask specifically for an appt with them or book online.

YouTheCat · 27/06/2018 20:38

Would her dad come with you to an appointment?

anotherangel2 · 27/06/2018 20:39

Go back to the dr or better still send your ex

ShawshanksRedemption · 27/06/2018 20:43

Go back and say it has changed and is getting larger and you have been advised by doctors at the first scan to get her scanned every year to keep an eye on it. If you can take photos/measure it in any way, then do so to keep a record. It sounds like an epigastric hernia www.gosh.nhs.uk/conditions-and-treatments/conditions-we-treat/hernia
Treatment may just be a "watch and wait" unless it causes discomfort or is getting in the way (eg clothing) and then surgery can be considered.

ShawshanksRedemption · 27/06/2018 20:44

Nothing to stop your Ex taking her to the Dr if he's also concerned rather than use it as a stick to beat you with.

ratspeaker · 27/06/2018 20:54

I'd say your ex should take her.
You've tried maybe he should go now as he's bothered by it

KarmaStar · 27/06/2018 20:56

Yes.yes.yes.keep going back until they listen to you.If they refuse you,go to A and E.do not give up until she has been seen properly whatever anyone says.keep insisting.

SoyDora · 27/06/2018 20:57

Is it a hernia?

Catchuptv · 27/06/2018 21:03

Does it hurt her? If so you could take her to A&E and they will probably do an ultrasound.

RideOn · 27/06/2018 21:06

It sounds like a hernia. Is it an umbilical hernia?

Is it causing her any discomfort?

If it is an umbilical hernia, they usually close themselves by 3-4 years. I think if it is visibly larger then you don't really need a scan, because you know what it is and how long to wait. At 4 years if she still has it, you don't want a scan, you want a referral to a surgeon for an opinion on an operation. I wouldn't want to push for the surgery if there was a chance it would resolve and it isn't causing her any discomfort. Surgery on children is better done the older they are IME.

However if it is somehow more complicated then ask her dad to make an appointment so they can explain it to him.

RideOn · 27/06/2018 21:07

I think they should have examined her though.

Ikeameatballs · 27/06/2018 21:08

What was the actual explanation for “the bulge”? Can you be a bit more specific/detailed about what was said?

whywhywhywhywhyyy · 27/06/2018 21:10

Does it hurt her? If so you could take her to A&E

And that's why the NHS is on its knees, folks.

Take her to the GP. Did you inform the GP why you wanted the appointment - that it was for this hernia? Or did you say it was just because she was 3?

yikesanotherbooboo · 27/06/2018 21:17

How big is it OP and does it bother her?

Original poster
Foodarella · 27/06/2018 21:24

They did tell me the technical name for it but I can't find the letter it came on from the ultrasound examination. When I got the letter I was homeless and they moved me over 4 times, so I lost a lot of things. I guess I could ask for another copy. It looks like two uneaten sausages moving up and down in her stomach. When she's excited, pooing, running, it's very very visible. I took her to the fountains recently and it was so obvious something was bulging from her tummy.

I think as one person has said don't ask for an ultrasound. I guess no one likes to be told what to do. But I'm so worried.

OP posts:
Original poster
Foodarella · 27/06/2018 21:27

It doesn't seem to bother her, a few kids have mentioned it when she's swimming or at the fountains etc, but she doesn't really notice is. I think even at the size it is, if it doesn't close as a teenager she'll be very self conscious of what she wears. Which would be sad.

OP posts:
Ultrasoundolive · 27/06/2018 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WaggyMama · 27/06/2018 21:43

Will your health visitor help you?

yikesanotherbooboo · 27/06/2018 21:45

I agree, voice your actual concerns to the health professionals and ask for a MUCH better explanation of her condition.
If it is an umbilical hernia ( not clear ) then I can reassure you that they frequently settle . My DS has one and it hadn't flattened at 5 years old but by 10 it had.