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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this normal chat for school kids?

22 replies

AngkorWaat · 27/06/2018 16:39

My year 6 DD had a transition day today. Her friendship group had some lovely comments from older boys, such as “oh you’re definitely not a virgin” and “you’re deffo getting raped”. Now I went to a pretty rough school myself, but it was a girls’ school, so I have no idea if this is just how it is. DD is still only 10 ffs Sad AIBU to think this is a bit much? Do I need to complain to school before she’s even started there?

OP posts:
Fuzzyend · 27/06/2018 16:43

Jeez that's hideous - how was your daughter about it? I don't think it's normal chat at all. It will be interesting to see what senior school teachers think.

duvetfan · 27/06/2018 16:47

Of course it is not acceptable. If I overheard this, I would be referring the pupils to senior management and there would be a whole raft of paperwork etc as it's a form of sexual abuse and need to be dealt with as such. Horrendous.

Justpick · 27/06/2018 16:50

WTAF! No! This is not normal chat!

Especially not for school children.

Knot normal or acceptable at all Shock

Justpick · 27/06/2018 16:50

*not

BastardGoDarkly · 27/06/2018 16:51

Jesus H. I'd be livid op.

Poor kid. Has she any idea who they were?

I wouldn't let this go, personally.

haverhill · 27/06/2018 16:51

That’s awful and not normal at all. Report it to the school ASAP.

notfuninthesummertime · 27/06/2018 16:51

That is absolutely horrific. I would be kicking up a huge fuss about it.

Sparklyshoes16 · 27/06/2018 16:52

ShockShockShock What on earth??? Ex Secondary here still consults in Schools once in a while bloody hell that's disgusting and needs raising immediately with the school Safeguarding lead ASAP.

That would rattle me and ring alarm bells hearing a kid say that type of stuff in school regardless of age...please report it to the school. Honestly you won't be seen as one of 'those' parents!

MrsMrsMrsMrs · 27/06/2018 16:53

That’s horrendous!
Definitely report it. This would/should be taken very seriously. I’m so sorry for your DD. What a horrible start to secondary education. I’d be feeling like I needed a brandy too if I were you. Gosh that’s awful

DelphiniumBlue · 27/06/2018 16:54

Not normal in my son's school. And even if it was normal, it's totally unacceptable.
this needs to be brought up with the school, and take it to the person at the current ( Primary) school responsible for transition, and the head as well. They will have contacts/ links at the new school, and can speak on behalf of all kids transferring there, not just your daughter.
Have you spoken to other parents?
This is such a major concern, it will add more force to your complaint if several of you act together.of
What a horrible start for your daughter, she must be so scared.

FinnJuhl · 27/06/2018 16:54

Please report to the school. If the school think that's normal, then I really would worry.

ProustianMadeleine · 27/06/2018 16:56

A bit much? This is a lot much and I think you know that. Tell the school as soon as possible.

Original poster
AngkorWaat · 27/06/2018 16:58

Phew, thank you all! The girls aren’t bothered but I’m really upset by it. I’m very relieved they’ve told us. I’ll have to find out who’s in charge of safeguarding and get in touch. Will have a chat to the other parents too.

OP posts:
bellinisurge · 27/06/2018 16:59

Report now. Little shits. We have transition days soon - still haven't had appeal due to some sort of delay with the panel (another story). If my dd hears this shit, I would report it straight away.

keepingbees · 27/06/2018 17:00

I have a child (boy) older than this and I've never heard him or his friends say anything like that and I would be horrified if they did! Definitely not normal or acceptable.

Gatehouse77 · 27/06/2018 17:00

No, not normal and I would be informing the schools - both primary and secondary.

Raaaaaah · 27/06/2018 17:03

I am aghast. That is shocking. We live in an area considered pretty rough but that is awful. I am really surprised that your DD wasn’t upset by it. Did she understand what it meant? I suppose she did if she mentioned it to you.

Original poster
AngkorWaat · 27/06/2018 17:09

Hmm yes, thinking about it I’ll have a chat with the primary head tomorrow first, she’ll probably be able to direct me to the right people, or maybe raise the issue along with me. Supposed to be a bloody excellent school, this hasn’t exactly filled me with confidence for September.

OP posts:
PremierNaps · 27/06/2018 17:10

It's a safeguarding issue and needs reporting

AmazingPostVoices · 27/06/2018 17:11

Yep, I’d be informing the primary and putting in a formal complaint to the secondary.

divadee · 27/06/2018 17:13

Call the school and ask for the designated safeguarding lead (DSL). The only issue you may have is that you cannot identify the boys in question but I would expect the school to speak to them all generally about what is and isn't acceptable and if any student is heard using this language then the consequences will be severe.

Sparklyshoes16 · 27/06/2018 17:17

this needs to be brought up with the school, and take it to the person at the current ( Primary) school responsible for transition, and the head as well. They will have contacts/ links at the new school, and can speak on behalf of all kids transferring there, not just your daughter.
Have you spoken to other parents?
This is such a major concern, it will add more force to your complaint if several of you act together.of
What a horrible start for your daughter, she must be so scared.

^^ This too

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