Not to understand the concept of 'homework help'?

[bringincrazyback]

I realise I'm probably going to cop some flak for this, especially as (disclaimer) I don't have children of my own. But I'm genuinely posting this to try and understand, not to troll.

I don't get why 'homework help' has become a thing. Granted I'm 50 so have to delve back a fair way to remember my own schooldays but I can remember my parents helping me with homework maybe two or three times in the whole of my schooling, and personally that's the homework approach I understand - surely part of the point of homework is to help children develop independent research skills? - I certainly feel my parents did the right thing in making me get on with it myself. So I struggle to understand why I hear so many mums talking about homework help and how much time it takes up, how stressful it is etc. When my stepdaughter was at school and was at ours for the weekend with homework to do, I noticed that there seemed to be this expectation that parents would examine homework in depth and make suggestions/supply answers where necessary etc, or at any rate DH did this and I got the impression SD's mum did too. I kept my opinions to myself - not my child, not my place to interfere etc - but internally I've been wondering about this ever since. How does the child ever develop proactive learning skills if the parent intervenes every time they get stuck, or even before?

I asked a friend this question once and she pointed out it can be necessary if the child has different educational needs, which I totally get. But that aside... I just don't get it?? Genuinely interested in understanding more about why homework help seems to have become such an accepted norm nowadays.

We'll I'm in my 30s, and never got help with homework. But I didn't start getting homework until I was about 10. These days homework often starts from day 1 at 4 or 5, and is sometimes tasks that would be impossible to do independently at that age. So I guess that's where it starts.

I think they are teaching them more, earlier.

And there is pressure for non academic kids to keep up, whereas years ago many were left behind or sent to remedial classes.

So you have 30 kids, some with quite severe learning issues, who all need to be taught long division etc. in the same short space of time.

Quite a few will need help at home.

I don't help my children with homework because they don't need it. But if they did, what am I supposed to do when they say "I don't know how to do it?" Tell them to go and ask their teacher? That's not very productive. I wouldn't want them to fall behind, so I'd help them, point them in the right direction, or help them understand a concept. Surely there's nothing wrong with that?

My year 5 DD, tbh, is bright but also very proactive with homework. I vaguely say 'are you up to date?' occasionally but she leads. If she asks for a bit of help, I will get her going but I don't examine it all! I have got involved with more project based stuff eg making a short film outdoors etc but I don't see any use in helicopter parenting.

I think sometimes kids can be overwhelmed with all the information available. In my day you had a text book, and may be you got a specialist book from the local library. These days, they often don't have text book, the library has shut and they are told to Google it. They have no idea which sites are reliable, and find it difficult to work out whether the information available is meant for primary or PhD.
I have always tried to guide my DC rather than doing it for them.

I've helped mine a handful of times. They generally just crack on with it. If they had a question i'd answer it or point them in the right direction but thats about it.

I think they give homework at an earlier age and its of a very different nature. To give an example of one weeks work my son will be asked:

Plot all your families height and arms spans on a chart (so I have to get a tape measure for him and we each at some point need to be measured)
To go to the woods and collect the leaves of 5 specific trees and create an artwork inspired by andy Goldsworthy (so I have to take him to the woods and provide materials and help him look up who Goldsworth is.
Find an elderly neighbour and interview them about life in the village when they were a child.

so basically I have to be present for all those things, I cant just leave him to it - this is an 8 year old. Its not a case of him opening up a worksheet and filling it out.

other fun projects have been time you parents doing 20 start jumps each night this week and record the times on a chart

bake a recipe from our topic country Brazil

I try to get involved with homework as little as possible since my eldest had a tantrum because I was doing maths all wrong. But I have to listen to my DCs doing their reading, ask them their spellings and tables and answer any questions they might have. It takes time and it's boring but it wouldn't get done otherwise. Once they are older a gentle reminder to do it is as involved as I ever get.

For me homework help is being available if they have any questions, and making available everything they need - a dictionary, a thesaurus, a related book, pencils. For example yesterday DS2 (8) had to do some time-related things and was confused about what the 24 hour clock question meant. Last week DS1 had to divide and multiply fractions, and needed some support in how to approach the question.

I agree that my parents had absolutely no input into my homework whatsoever, they wouldn't have had a clue what if anything I had been asked to do. But then I didn't get homework, apart from some spellings and reading, until I was 11 at secondary school. Mine have had it from Year 3 (with "optional" homework which we mostly ignored from Year 1).

I’m in my 30s and my parents never knew what homework I had due, never mind helped me with it! And they were both teachers so very much supportive of education.

I only got homework (other than reading) from Year 6 onwards though. And it was homework for me to do, not some big family project.

Homework is very different to the homework of the past, as PP have says. Comparisons between then and now are totally pointless.

At my kids English primary in years R through 2, homework could not have been done by the children on their own. The homework sheet was written for adults, not children, and needed interpreting and the correct exercise choosing. Often those exercises involved a parent doing something (like drilling them on sums or taking them out to look at something) this was a deliberate tactic on the school’s part to get parents involved in their child’s learning. After that we moved to another country and put them in private school that didn’t give homework other than reading at that age. Now they are older (year 5) and we go over homework with them to give them extra support on things they are weak on - one kid needs encouragement to improve handwriting, another often needs support to get going on maths - but mainly they get on with it themselves. Most of our “support” is about encouraging them to knuckle down and do it. We answer questions when asked and go over methods when they feel overwhelmed but would not supply answers.

I think parents (and schools) today are more focused on academic learning and trying to force too much in at too young and age - hence the need to spoon feed so many of them.

Our infant school expects you to listen to reading and as others said do homework which whilst the more interesting just can’t be done totally independently. As my son is progressing through juniors it’s nature is changing and he can and should do it more independently e.g he reads x pages and we talk about it. We are still expected to comment though in his reading book.

And p.s they get loads!!!!

I try to let me 8 year old get on with his homework as much as he can - but there are definite benefits in me helping a bit when he gets stuck. I don't just supply answers for him to copy down - but show him how to go about answering it so he can manage it himself next time he comes across it. The alternative is that I let him get it wrong and he doesn't necessarily pick it up in school.

Well I don't recall my parents helping me with it either, but I only started getting it at senior school. These days they're at it at 5 - and no 5yo can do homework on their own. It's getting easier now ds is an independent reader (7yo) but he still needs guidance.

If it's something simple like complete a worksheet, my DC will do it independently, probably at the kitchen table whilst I cook and am on hand for any questions if they get stuck.

However, often the homework is big projects...think things like make a 3d model of a form of transport or make a Roman artefact...primary age children really can't manage that singlehandedly. Parents need to help with buying/finding craft materials, ideas and the actual making...it's often a lot of work!

I'm in my mid 40s and we never had any homework at primary school, at all, so there was nothing for parents to help with.

My children have been given homework from reception and often it felt like they hadn't covered the topic at all as they had no idea how to do it.

Talking to primary teachers now and they all say that topics are covered so quickly that they don't have time to keep explaining it, once that topic is covered that's it until it returns in a harder version later on. If you don't make sure your children understand by doing it at home they will just fall further behind in school

I am also 50. I remember doing my reading homework for my DM to hear while she cleared up after dinner. I also remember the torture of trying to think of sentences and learn spellings. Oh and times tables.

We also had Project work which involved trips to the library etc - pre internet.

If anything I actually spend less time on HW with my 3 DC than my DM did with her 2.

I'm in my late 30s and yes my parents 'helped' or rather more interfered with my homework. I felt even as a kid it was utterly pointless as surely if i made a mistake the teacher should know about it. I think it was some kind of misplaced pride or wish to have a genius kid that never made mistakes. You're dead right its entirely a waste of time I won't be helictoptering over my kids homework. I actually think homework should be banned for little kids anyway.

I have literally never helped my DD (14). She is super bright and highly organised. If I didn't help my DS (12) who has SEN, he would not be able to keep up in lesson. I could leave him to it, and let him deal with the consequences, but I can't help thinking that's perhaps a little harsh...

Yes, as others say, we had it later. I had no homework until secondary. I don't help my secondary age child at all with her homework and don't help my year 6 child much either. When they were younger they needed more help and supervision.

My parents got involved with homework and I'm enormously glad that they did. As a teenager, my dad taught me how to write a shit-hot essay by descending with a red pen on my every piece of writing. He taught me an enormous amount - how to write clearly and concisely, how to structure an argument logically, how to make the whole essay flow. No teacher would have had the time (or often, the ability) to deconstruct my work so carefully.

I'll likewise use whatever skills and knowledge I have to help my kids learn. Unfortunately, I suspect there's partly a class element here. 'Leave it up to the school' has culturally often been a more working-class approach (thinking of my grandparents here who saw school as a totally alien province in which their involvement was neither wanted or needed), whereas middle class parents tend to see their role as more involved. That is partly why middle class kids as a group end up doing better at school, because no teacher has time to give the kind of individual help and attention that children need to really excel at school.

Sure, there's a balance - it's not about doing it all for your kids. But helping kids with schoolwork, overall, is a total no-brainer.

I'm in my 60s and remember homework at Primary school. My parents didn't help much on a practical level, unless I asked. Mostly I didn't.

OP I am also in my 50s, so would imagine my schooling was similar to yours.

I never ever got homework before senior school. I know this for a fact because I was such a dreadful swot, I actually asked for it when I was at junior school and was told it wasn't the done thing

4 and 5 year olds get homework set. Of course they need help with it. Generally speaking, the assistance you give as a parent diminishes as the DC get older. By the time they are at senior school it is very minimal (probably in line with what you remember) and only offered if the subject area is of interest to the parent.