To ask how to stop replaying things in your head

[Sohurtandupset]

Just that really. If someone's hurt you, how do you stop replaying it over and over again in your head? I'm so hurt and I just can't stop thinking about it.

I struggle with this sometimes, not so much with things that have happened but with things I am anxious about happening in the future.

I had CBT councilling and it really helped me deal with the pattern of negative thought. I got referred by my GP but there are lots of websites if you want to try and teach yourself.

Also in the moment maybe try and read a book or watch a TV show you know you love to try and make your brain focus on something else. Brain exercises like sudoku, rubiks cubes, crosswords etc can help too. I know some people use mindfulness as well, focussing on what is going on in the moment and how your body feels etc.

Sorry you're going through this x

'I'm so hurt and I just can't stop thinking about it'

Sounds totally normal to me. I know it's not fun to feel this way but it's a natural part of trying to process something that brought up difficult feelings for you. Trying to force yourself to stop thinking about it doesn't work and just adds to unpleasant feelings.

Can you talk it out with someone you trust? Or write down what you're thinking? Write a letter to the person who hurt you saying what you would like to say to their face, but don't send it?

Do you think this falls under the symptoms of PTSD or is it more a going over and over it deliberately, but feeling like you can't stop?

If you feel you may have PTSD then you can access specific treatments for that. If it is more an endless cyclic reflection process, then I would recommend both trying out some cognitive control training games, and seeing a therapist.

I feel like this at the moment. A so called friend has stabbed me in the back and I really want to stop going over and over it and hoping others will see her true colours.

I was once told that when this happens it can help to force your mind on to another subject. Every time it comes in your head force yourself to mentally change the subject. By fuelling the thoughts you give it power and make it grow when what you need to do is weaken it. Its hard but also time can help, we just need that most of all to recover from hurt

How long has it been? It takes time to get over being badly hurt.

You won't be able to stop thinking about it overnight. But you will one day.

I was given a book called "Stop thinking, start living". It helped with the internal monologue in general.

I used to come back to the same thought again and again. I tried ACT therapy and one technique is 'Thank you, mind'. When a negative thought or even a repetitive thought comes up acknowledge it with an internal 'Thank you, mind' and then kind of change the subject of you internal monologue. For example, I'd think 'why did do and so say that?' And I'd catch myself and think 'thanks mind, there is nothing I can do right now that is going to help with that so let's think about this lovely sunny day!' It was a bit odd but I found it helpful. Your mind is doing what it does trying to find a reason or solution to something but some things don't have a solution. Give it a Google there are some good resources out there and I'm so sorry you've been hurt, i hope you find a way to heal that hurt

I found this useful

www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene/transcript

Sorry to hear you’ve been hurt and that the hurt is being prolonged by these repetitive thoughts.

When I went through a similar issue a CBT self-help book worked really well for me.