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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that spaghetti strap dresses/tops are not appropriaye/professional office wear no matter how hot it is?

347 replies

SerenDippitty · 27/06/2018 08:53

Except perhaps on a dress down Friday and perhaps not even then.

OP posts:
Shumpalumpa · 27/06/2018 22:07

I dress pretty conservatively can't be bothered to shave but in our office of 5,000 we have women wearing spaghetti strap dresses or full suits, mini skirts or hijab, half breasts revealed or Iadies Indian shalwar kameez, men wearing shorts or full suit and tie.

I no longer notice what anyone wears, it's all normal.

bananafish81 · 27/06/2018 22:13

Even if I don't have a client facing role, I still don't want to see colleagues in their pjs, in a onesie, or looking like they are going clubbing. You can be as casual as you want, there's absolutely no need to wear tank tops and spaghetti straps, no bras or ridiculously tight jeans.

Good for the posters who work in an "everything goes" office, I would hate it

Def just as well not to work in certain industries in that case, where dress codes in many many companies are just not a thing.

Today at work:

CEO wearing flip flops
Loads of senior people with full limb tattoos on show
Women in strappy tops
Men and women in shorts

No one gives a shit, the only thing anyone cares about is the quality of the work and how you work with your colleagues, and the relationship you have with clients. Our clients aren't interested in how we dress, as long as we're delivering creative, innovative, effective work.

I wear skinny jeans so sounds like I would probably offend your sensibilities as well!

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 27/06/2018 22:34

I wear skinny jeans so sounds like I would probably offend your sensibilities as well!

if you are male and putting your crotch on show, then yes, I would find you inappropriate too. My comment about the lack of bras on the other hand was directed at females

Some people do give a shit, it's a work place, and you don't need to try to be uber casual to produce an excellent work. I also hate the fake "we are all mates" casual attitude going with the casual "dress code".

On another note, I quite like having work clothes for the office and casual clothes for my private life.

NotARegularPenguin · 27/06/2018 22:39

Sun’s out, guns out!

Any excuse for me to show my biceps off!

Skiiltan · 27/06/2018 22:43

Except perhaps on a dress down Friday

How does something that's "unprofesssional" from Monday to Thursday suddenly become acceptable on Friday? If it's okay on Friday there's no reason why it shouldn't be okay the rest of the week. And if it's okay on Friday the "professional" attire rules and dress code are clearly bollocks. Too many people have an unhealthy and probably prurient interest in what other people wear. If they tried doing some work instead of making notes about what other employees are wearing their companies might benefit.

LadyRussell · 27/06/2018 22:46

I struggle with what the hell to wear - we have to go to clients houses.

I had to sit on a leather chair in one today I was totally paranoid that I left an arse sweat patch Blush

bananafish81 · 27/06/2018 22:50

Some people do give a shit, it's a work place, and you don't need to try to be uber casual to produce an excellent work. I also hate the fake "we are all mates" casual attitude going with the casual "dress code".

Don't quite understand the idea of 'trying to be uber casual'. What does that mean? Some people wear dresses and nice shoes, some blokes wear nice shirts with their jeans and shoes instead of trainers. No one tries to do anything. It's just whatever you like to wear. Sometimes I'm dressed like a scruffy student in jeans and trainers and a plaid shirt, sometimes I'll be in trousers and brogues. Why would what you wear have any bearing on the quality of your work, if your workplace doesn't have a dress code? You can be dressed to the nines and do excellent work or shit work. You can be dressed like a scruff and do excellent work or shit work.

Also seems somewhat dismissive of the idea that people can't possibly be friends and colleagues. Some people happen to really like the people they work with, and enjoy socialising with them out of work. But it's not obligatory! No one is obliged to come to the pub or have any contact with anyone else outside of the office.

Just because you have come across a fake 'we are all mates attitude' doesn't mean people who are actually friends with workmates are necessarily faking it.

JacquesHammer · 27/06/2018 22:52

Some people do give a shit, it's a work place, and you don't need to try to be uber casual to produce an excellent work.

You don’t need to be uber smart to produce excellent work either by the same token

Ithinkthatsenough · 27/06/2018 22:57

Visited solicitors today... met with a paralegal in a stained vest, spageti straps (shock) showing grey bra straps much larger than top straps. Also visible through said badly fitting and stained top was a pair of large nipples...unavoidable they were!
If you meet clients, you should be clean and tidy... every day even if you’re not due to see anyone that day!

Unobtainable · 27/06/2018 22:57

We have a dress code precisely because people tend to wear all sorts of innapropriate clothing if left to their own devices. In the past, we’ve had people coming into the office wearing vest tops with grubby bra straps showing, crop tops, boob tubes, board shorts, cardigans (worn by men in customer facing roles in a professional setting), flip flops showcasing black nails or month old pedicures complete with chipped polish.

A dress code helps those who cant dress properly in my opinion.

LakieLady · 27/06/2018 23:15

*I struggle with what the hell to wear - we have to go to clients houses.

I had to sit on a leather chair in one today I was totally paranoid that I left an arse sweat patch *

Grin

I once opted to sit on a dining chair with a plastic seat at a client's because her house was, frankly, minging and I didn't want to sit on her greasy, grubby sofa. The seat felt oddly sticky and damp, and I kept sort of lifting my arse to make sure that I wasn't sticking to the seat.

Then the client told me that she was awaiting bladder repair surgery, but couldn't have it done until she'd lost loads of weight, and was constantly leaking urine.

As it dawned on me that I was sitting in someone else's piss, it was all I could do not to boak. That night, I stripped off all my clothes as soon as I was in the front door and put them straight in the machine on a hot wash.

And that, dear MNers, is why no-one gives a shit what we wear to work as long as we're not outraging public decency.

LadyRussell · 27/06/2018 23:18

Yes I hear you - I have flea bites around my ankles from today.

And I had to be nice to a dog while it trod on my bare feet in sandals.

LadyRussell · 27/06/2018 23:19

And a toddler who really needed his nappy changing.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 27/06/2018 23:21

Just because you have come across a fake 'we are all mates attitude' doesn't mean people who are actually friends with workmates are necessarily faking it.

I didn't really mean your colleagues, more the management when they play the "pal" card in a patronising way but are awful to staff. They do exist.

crispysausagerolls · 28/06/2018 08:44

No one is obliged to come to the pub or have any contact with anyone else outside of the office.

In all the office jobs I’ve had, I’ve found that if you don’t attend work drinks etc you are quite set apart from everyone else actually. It’s an unspoken rule that you have to attend, and they think you aren’t a team player if you don’t.

Polarbearflavour · 28/06/2018 09:27

Is anybody wearing tights in the 30 degree heat?

JacquesHammer · 28/06/2018 09:40

flip flops showcasing black nails or month old pedicures complete with chipped polish

My flip flops show black nails. They are however always immaculately pedicured and painted black Grin

whiskeysourpuss · 28/06/2018 10:34

Is anybody wearing tights in the 30 degree heat?

When I go back to work on Monday I'll be wearing stockings as I wouldn't bare my milk bottles in public but they are out in the garden just now

hellokittymania · 28/06/2018 10:42

Well I have a very funny dictation error that I think will entertain all of you. I was writing an email to my mother about dyslexia, and for some very weird reason, the first sentence of the email turned out “no need to dress in British, just need to heat up my husband.“ so there you go. 😂😂

And no, I’m not married.

Polarbearflavour · 28/06/2018 10:50

This week I have been wearing knee length skirts with sleeveless tops (no bra strap showing) and sandals to work. Tomorrow I am going to wear a maxi dress and fit flops. Work in a Grade II listed building with no air con and not public facing.

I’m sure somebody on Mumsnet will be along to tell me how inappropriate that is shortly...

FoxAndBear · 28/06/2018 14:59

@Unobtainable that's the first time I've heard a cardigan called inappropriate Grin

Mangoo · 28/06/2018 15:15

Do people honestly care so much what someone else is wearing?!

MarvellousMonsters · 28/06/2018 17:26

Fucks sake, YABU. It’s just skin.

Unobtainable · 28/06/2018 17:32

JacquesHammer I love black polish too.

Ha ha! Yes, cardigans are so innapropriate a) on men and b) in a professional environment. I loath cardigans.

I really do think that what you wear matters a lot.

Mmmmmmmchips · 28/06/2018 17:34

Talk about first world problems

Surely depends on type of company, types of meetings etc - doesn’t take a genius to work out....,