WWYD re DD mobile phone.

[LadyRussell]

Have posted before about this.

DD (18) moved out 3 months ago into her girlfriends (17) mums house just before her A levels against my wishes and has shelved Uni plans this has been very upsetting and very stressful.

Her father’s maintenance stopped (he paid it to her anyway so she stopped giving it to me) and the child benefit.

A while ago because she was working hard at her job and at college (and I never forsake this situation) I agreed to go halves on her mobile phone.

It’s £45 a month. She hasn’t paid it for the last 3 months and I cannot cancel it as it is a 30 month contract (I didn’t actually realise this at the time as was prepared to do this though Uni).

What the hell do I do?

I cannot afford it, DH is giving me grief about it as it’s coming out of our joint account.

She keeps saying another week another week etc but today her brother he told me she’s out on the piss and she has a new tattoo.

What the fuck do I do? Report it stolen even though she has just got a new job?

This is so not like her

I think your only option is reduce the contract right down, but unfortunately it may not reduce it by much as I’m assuming most of the cost will be for the handset.

Then in January transfer your number onto the contract.

You are liable for this phone until the end of the contract and not paying it will have an effect for years to come on your credit file. I’d probably be trying to get your daughter to see reason and own up to her responsibilities. Good luck!

You can’t force her to pay as the contract is in your name only. If she doesn’t pay she doesn’t get the phone. Be firm.

As there’s so much time left on the contract just cancel yours (which runs out far sooner) and take over hers as your own. You don’t need to keep her number, when you cancel yours ask your current/old provider for a PUK code and provide it to your “daughters” provider and they will transfer your number to that contract.

It’s tricky to physically get the phone from her.

Her dad is wonderful because he tells her he is proud of her

Who will give her somewhere to live if this doesn’t work out with her girlfriend? Me? Or her dad? Who went to parents evenings? Who picked her up? Who drove her everywhere? Who stayed in? Who cancelled things when her dad let me down? Who was there for her? Who did birthdays? Christmas? Prom? Who was there every night with a meal? And very very easy for her dad to say he is proud when he has put fuck all effort into bringing her up. He’s invested nothing, no time, no energy - Oh - sorry apart from that time he rocked up with his cow of a wife and took her to the prom. And really really upset me

This post was edited by MNHQ

I paid for the dress, hair, make up accessories everything and he rocked up two hours early and took her for a photo shoot and I have no pictures

I know this is a side issue - I am just getting it from her atm and it’s not very fair

My dad somehow managed to put a block on my phone when I was being a pain in the arse teenager once.

It rendered the phone/sim useless.

Ring her dad. Tell him that he either stumps up, or the phone is getting blocked.

If he won't pay, then the advice above is good. Ring Tesco, and tell them that you want the phone blocked until your contract finishes. Then you will take over the contract. You will still have to pay, but hopefully not double for too long.

Her dad has refused to speak up me for about 8 years.

OP I think you left a name in there? You might want to get MNHQ to remove that if so. Hope you work things out with your DD.

[edited to protect privacy]

"Try a change of ownership" I'm guessing the reason the op hasn't done this is because dd needs to agree to it!

Surely you can't just give a phone company someone's bank details and they start taking the payment for a phone contract out of it?

Else people would be getting other people to pay their bills all over the place!

But yes if she's not honouring the agreement you made, it's your property legally, I don't see why Tesco can't deactivate it. You can reduce the usage element if it's not already on the minimum cost. I'm also with Tesco and have always found them helpful. At least then you're only paying the minimum contract fees possible and no additional charges AND hopefully it'll light a fire under dd to get it sorted.

I had an issue with my DS phone which was in my name. £45 is expensive btw. So you can call up and see if you have an option to change the contract and reduce the monthly costs. Put a block on how much can be spent. Or simply call and change ownership. I did the latter. You both need to be there when that happens. You give permission and then hand over to your DD who then provides her details etc. If none works you can find out how much it would cost to buy yourself out of the contract and simply do that. May be cheaper in the long run.

She doesn’t know that Tesco are being useless. So threaten that you have called them and they have been helpful and if she doesn’t send you the money by Friday the phone is getting a lock on it.

From your posts I'm guessing you went into the Tesco store to speak to them? If so then they won't be the most helpful. The best thing to do would be to ring them. This is the number for customer services +44-345-301-4455 and this is the number for technical support 0345 300 6660. I don't know about Tesco, but some let you buy out of the contact (for less then the cost of the whole rest of the contract), normally if you can do this you'll have to pay the remaining cost for the handset (if this is included in the contract) plus something in the region of £60 for leaving early. As it is in your name you technically will own the handset so can legally take it off your daughter (not saying this will be easy though!!!). Good luck!

Phone the provider and tell them there's been a change of cirucmstances, you can no longer pay, they need to change the ownership/contract.

Firstly, as others have said you are liable for the contract, but it's worth ringing Tesco and asking if they can reduce the payment due to a change in circumstances (I wouldnt go into too much detail, explain money is tight due to a change in salary or hours or something similar. They don't need to know everything you've explained). They may be willing to reduce the contract, give less data and texts and stuff for a smaller cost. Entirely depends on their goodwill but worth asking.

Secondly, almost half my year in uni had taken one or more years out between school and uni, and often the slightly older students were in a much better place to start their course. I went straight from one to the other and was exhausted, worn down and stressed from A-levels, struggled a lot in my first year, wasn't sure I had made the right course decision (I now know I didn't, although it was a subject I loved) and generally struggled through uni. I wish I had taken a few years to work, get myself back on track and really decide what I wanted to do. It can be very overwhelming to try and make these big decisions about your career and spending more time in education when you are still young and have been in school for the best part of 15 years and just want a change. I know parents always worry, but there is little point stressing about the decisions she is making, she is a young adult and is doing what she thinks best. Give your daughter the space she needs to try things on her own. You may be pleasantly surprised in six months or a year when she's ready to go back into education. Or she may find a perfectly respectable career that doesn't need a degree. She may take five years out and go back as a mature student. Uni so expensive now, I think it's pointless starting a course unless you know it's what you want.

Tesco are a business so I am not surprised you got nowhere with them. Unfortunately you are very unlikely to be able to get out of the contract. However, the phone is yours. Explain to your daughter she will need to return the phone to you if she is unwilling to take over payments. If she refuses tell her you will have to report the phone as stolen. Tesco will then cancel that sim and send you a new one.

Worst case scenario is you will have to keep paying until January when you can cancel your own contract and take over your daughter's one. You can have your old number transferred to the other SIM easily enough so you wont lose that. Do you know how much it would cost to buy out of your own right now?