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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this teacher wbu?

67 replies

Ginmakesitallok · 26/06/2018 20:53

Dd has had a stand in teacher for about a month. New to school. Today dd told us that her teacher did a silly thing. Apparently teacher got angry because some of the class were being noisy. She slammed a glass jar full of marbles on the table, which broke and sent marbles flying. Part of me (a big part) feels sorry that someone would get so frustrated that they would do that. But part of me is cross that a teacher would lose control like that. Wibu to contact school about it?

OP posts:

musicinthe00ssucks · 27/06/2018 07:36

Did she then throw the glass and marbles at the children? No? Ok so no harm done and obviously no intention to harm. What exactly would you be complaining about?

ittakes2 · 27/06/2018 07:50

Wow op - I think you’ve been given a hard time! Aibu is so people can can sense check themselves - and you have and feel you are so won’t be contacting the school. But some people have slated you and I’m sorry for that! Your daughter is 8/9 - it’s a young class. If it helps I have two children who are a couple of years older who go to a standard government school with 30 children in classes - and only one of their teachers have ever slammed things on a desk to get children’s attention. Personally I think teachers are saints - I could not last a day. But I don’t think you are being unreasonable sense checking whether a teacher seemingly losing control with 8/9 year olds is normal or not.

RavenWings · 27/06/2018 07:56

I think you should speak to your child about manners towards school staff, tbh.

Moonkissedlegs · 27/06/2018 07:58

I have to say, I have come pretty close to the edge with various classes over the years, but I have never slammed anything on the desk.

NotTakenUsername · 27/06/2018 08:05

But some people have slated you and I’m sorry for that!

What gives you the right to apologise on any pp behalf?

Poloshot · 27/06/2018 08:57

Yes of course it's unreasonable to contact the school over this. Ridiculous

BarbarianMum · 27/06/2018 09:15

The only thing you should be worried about is whether the poor woman cut herself. And whether your dd has any part in the bad behaviour.

Lizzie48 · 27/06/2018 09:54

The OP has agreed that she WBU, it's not as if she's already reported it. I'm not surprised she was shocked about it, because broken glass can go all over the place and can be very dangerous, to her as well as to the children in her class. I hope the floor was thoroughly cleaned afterwards.

The fact is that, while we can all empathise with the teacher's frustration (the OP has said that she does as well), if one of the children had been hurt as a result of her actions, she would have found herself in deep trouble.

brownpaperbox · 27/06/2018 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NotTakenUsername · 27/06/2018 10:45

if one of the children had been hurt as a result of her actions, she would have found herself in deep trouble.

What nonsense. Accidents happen and even when a child gets hurt as a result, it is still an accident. If she closed a child’s fingers in the door by accident would she be ‘in deep trouble’ or just tend to the child’s first aid and apologise? Honestly, they are kids, not delicate little flowers.

Original poster

Ginmakesitallok · 27/06/2018 11:31

My daughter was not one of the kids misbehaving. She knows that she has to behave in school and she says that what the kids were doing was naughty. I'm not defensive about my job, I just didn't think it was relevant (NHS for anyone who thinks it matters).

You just can't win in aibu. If you accept you were unreasonable you continue to have to defend yourself. If you defend yourself you're pulled apart and still told you're unreasonable. You get pulled apart for things you say and the things you don't. If you answer questions you get told you're angry. If you don't then you're told you're defensive.

OP posts:

Lizzie48 · 27/06/2018 12:27

Bashing a glass jar on a table is not an accident, anyone with a gram of sense would know that if you bang a glass jar on the table it will probably break, it's not exactly rocket science. An accident would be if fell on the floor and broke.

I would worry about the teacher's self-control. Obviously the OP can't know whether she regularly flips or whether it was a one-off, as the teacher hasn't been there for long.

Ask yourself, would you have the same opinion if I did something like that when at the end of my tether with DD1, who is very challenging, with violent meltdowns? Or if a man did that in front of his DP?

LaMomeetlememe · 27/06/2018 12:55

I think UK schools are doomed! Eventually nobody will want to work in them and it will only be supply teachers who will simply turn down schools /classes with bad behaviour.

Come on. A jar broke and you want to complain? I think you need to get in there and show this teacher how its done

LaMomeetlememe · 27/06/2018 12:57

Ginmakesit all the kids went home and said they were not misbehaving. All their parents believed them.

Original poster

Ginmakesitallok · 27/06/2018 13:06

Lamomeetlememe - I know my daughter better than you do.

OP posts:

Lizzie48 · 27/06/2018 13:20

There really are children who behave well in class. My DD1 (9) clams up and goes into her shell (a total contrast to what she's like at home). DD2 (6) is very gregarious and extremely popular. In her last school report, her teacher said that she likes talking to her friends. I know what that means, she's a chatterbox and without doubt does misbehave in class.

So, if DD1 were to say that she didn't misbehave I would be inclined to believe her as she's the exact opposite of disruptive. If DD2 were to protest her innocence in similar circumstances, I would be far more sceptical, as I know her too well.

Sometimes parents do know what they're talking about.

SumerisIcumenin · 27/06/2018 17:19

Well, my glass jar moment was a bit facetious, but in all truth, I do think about the resources I bring into primary schools, and the potential for accidental or intentional harm. Parents and children seem less resilient or able to cope with risk than 20 years ago; that’s just a personal observation. So if I don’t want a parent snorting about pointy scissors, steel needles or glass jars, I avoid them if I can.

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