What would you do? AIBU? Sleepover...

[UserWorried]

So my DS (6) had a sleepover arranged for last weekend. I got all worried about it last minute because there is just something 'odd' about the family (especially mum and dad, and even more especially dad. Also kids just seem a bit 'odd' too - not well kempt, unusually 'good' and v v 'quiet), and I backed out, making some random excuse.

Anyway, afterwards I thought maybe it was just me being unreasonable, and new to the whole sleepover thing. DS was really upset to miss sleepover and begged me to rearrange. So, in a moment of madness, I rearranged for next weekend.

Now I'm panicking again. I really can't put my finger on what worries me about this family, they r just 'odd'. But then again, this is DS first sleepover so maybe it's me? and I'm worryingly unnecessarily?

I've always thought if something doesn't feel right, you shouldn't do it. But DS really wants to go.

What would you do?

I would be uneasy about letting my DCs stay the night with a family if they had never been to their house before. Could you back out of the sleepover, but let him go to play for a couple of hours with them so that you can get a better feel for the family

Go with your gut!
Personally there is no way I would let my 6 year old off to stay the night with people I hardly know.

If you dont feel comfortable just put if off. Be clear that you are not eady to let him go to sleep overs & areange an alternative eg movie night with sleeping bags on living room floor and get parents to collect.
6 is still very young, he has years to do sleepovers.

sorry about spelling on phone

I have aspergers but honesty is surprisingly liberating in lots of cases and I have to say my forthrightness, once phrased appropriately, has never caused significant issues for me and mine.

'Thanks so much for the invitation: I know that I sound like the most over-protective parent in the world but X has never had a sleepover before and I'm a little worried that he doesn't know you guys well and neither do I. Could Y come to us this weekend instead? I'd love them to get to now each other better but am feeling a bit anxious about the whole thing. Over the top I know but I promise to give them both a fun time!' ?
IME painting yourself as a bit bonkers hides a multitude of anxieties and avoids offence while your DC still gets to join in.

know not now..obviously and sorry

I'm with Homemadearmy

6 is very young for a sleepover, especially as you don’t know the parents well. I would back out, and say that he still wakes up in the night or a similar excuse

Why are you catastrophising that this is the end of the friendship, OP? He's only 6, use Home's excuse above.

Our instincts have kept our species alive for hundred of thousands of years.

Instincts count, trust them.

Trust your gut. 6 is very young for a sleepover. I would not send my child into a situation that I wasn’t 100% and I wouldn’t care what they thought about backing out twice.
Arrange for their kid to come to you.

I wouldn't let any of my DC sleep over a friends house that i didn't know well. And I wouldn't let them do even that at 6. It's too young.

I happily hosted but didn't let mine go on play dates or sleepovers unless I knew the parents and household well.

It never impacted on their social life as they knew our house was open at all times to friends and they were here a lot.

My D.C. did sleepovers at 6yo. But inmy with families we knew very well and where they'd already been to play at the house lots of times.

My DS has one friend who loves sleepovers but hates being away from home so DS regularly goes to sleepovers at his house but he only ever comes to ours to play and have dinner. That’s fine with us.

This doesn’t have to be a huge deal.

Just tell them you've decided that your child is probably a bit young for sleepovers

Can DS have a sleep over at granny’s/aunty’s and on the basis of something or other you now don’t think it’s a good idea. Definitely trust your instincts.