AIBU to think that he will have to do it himself?

[MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup]

I follow a completely different lifestyle and diet to my husband, however I am the main cook. I am the one who cooks the food and makes sure that it is ready for him when he gets home from work.

However he has expressed that he doesn't really like what I cook? He wants something that's more.. British like? Like how we have it in the pub! I said I am not a chef, I can only cook what I can but I cook healthy meals so he probably doesn't like that.

I have, in the past cooked two separate meals but decided that I can't keep doing it because it takes up my time and I have a DS in tow so I can't really do it! So I just started cooking what I eat and my DH would eat it but he's clearly not happy!

I said you'll just have to cook your own meals then.... he just said how can he when he has to go work all day? Maybe I am selfish, am I?... Surely I can't change my lifestyle just to suit him!

Life is a compromise

If he wants something different then he will need to provide it.

What are you cooking?

I do the cooking at home too and just take into account everyone's different tastes. I make sure I do everyone's favourite every now and then and will avoid the things (not very many of them) that anyone really hates. I wouldn't want to cook deep fried or other very unhealthy meals every day of the week - but we could have chips, fried stuff maybe once every week or two as a treat.

What are you actually cooking?

Sorry my first and second comments contradict each other

What I mean is what are you cooking and what does he want? There has to be give and take but overall he eats what you cook or does something different

Can you do a once a month big batch of stuff and freeze it into portions?

If he was single he'd have to organise his own meals. It sounds like you are at home though, can you cook your kind of meals but do him chips or something to go with it as a compromise?

If he chooses not to eat what you cook, he'll have to sort himself out. Millions of people in this country work twelve hour shifts and manage to feed themselves.

He will sulk, but leave him to it. He's trying to manipulate you, don't let him.

Or tell him to fuck off back to the 1950's.

Why doesnt he take over 3 nights to cook his way and you do 3? One nighr a week of take away or "foraging" aka each just whizz something up out of whats in the cupboards.

My dh and I have very different palates so while he will eat a curry I like them spicy and interesting and he likes meat and mild. I compromise in that I cook the base of the curry then scoop some out. I'll then make my half spicier with lots of different veg and when he comes home he will cook off some meat to go in his half of the sauce. I make the rice. What are you making and what does he want? I try and compromise to having pizza or pub food type meals a couple of times a week because I love dh and enjoy eating together.

Definitely compromise. Surely there's a middle ground. What ever it is he wants, there must be a healthy version of it. Be imaginative!

he just said how can he when he has to go work all day?

I know, it’s hideous all those full time working single men who are just randomly found, having starved to death...

I'm just cooking normal meals! Spaghetti Bolognese, shepherds pie, pasta dishes etc. all in a healthy way though with plenty of vegetables and chicken.

he just said how can he when he has to go work all day
Dh and I work all day. We dont starve fucking opposite infact

So what does he want?
I am a bit puzzled. Those sound like perfectly good meals.

I take back what I said about batch cooking now. Meals sound great

Your meals sound lovely and normal! Just put a potato in the oven on days when he doesn't like what's on the menu. That's pub food! Btw I love a jacket potato I'm not spud shaming

What is it that he wants to eat? I think it's only fair that you cook stuff he likes from time to time - not saying you should pander to his every whim, but it's a bit of give and take and just being nice to someone you love. Perhaps the two of you could spend some time at weekends cooking together so he can show you the sort of things he wants, and you can work out - together - how to cook them? Maybe he could do the weekend cooking? It's not something to make an issue of between you, just work towards a compromise.

What exactly does he want to eat? I thought you were going to say it was quinoa and rocket every night but your meals sound like perfectly normal family meals.

I think it's true that people who don't cook say in day out to feed a family realise how much time and mental energy it takes up. And they can often totally take it for granted. Anyone who has had the daily grind of cooking is ridiculously grateful for anything put in front of them.

Tell him to fuck off.

Why can’t he cook?

If you were serving quinoa, buckwheat, millet, chia seeds and avocado all day every day- yes , I'd see his point. But spag Bol, shepherds pie, pasta, etc (yes even including occasional quinoa) it's varied, and healthy and filling so he has no right to look this gift horse in the mouth. Tell him to pick up ready meals for himself on the way home if he won't eat what you serve.

spud shaming 😂

Ha! If he won't eat your food then he can bloody well make his own!