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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU..... 14 texts in 2.5 hours

73 replies

greeneyedlulu · 26/06/2018 20:25

Said to DP this morning on the way in to work I plan on having a couple of drinks with a work colleague tonight so did just that as planned. Meal prep for us and DC all sorted in same conversation.
Now actually on my way home (at the end of road) and received yet another text so I decided to count up the texts I'd received...
14 in 2.5 hours!! WTAF???

can't wait til Thursday when England play footie so I can actually live stream the actions in our household VIA TEXT!!!!!

OP posts:

Ontheboardwalk · 26/06/2018 22:45

Does he do this every time you go out without him?

It sounds like very controlling behaviour demanding your attention when you’re out with a friend. I bet your poor friend wasn’t thrilled with you replying to the 14 texts whilst they were sat there watching you

TheBigFatMermaid · 26/06/2018 22:45

Turn your phone off for a couple of drinks worth of time! That is all you have to do!!

FFS, I was rushed into hospital when DS was 3 months old and DD2 was 14 monhts old, I also had DD1, who was 11 years old, who was not DPs child, but he coped for 5 days without asking so much as 1 question about what to do with them!

Emma198 · 26/06/2018 22:47

My husband lived alone for a long time before he met me yet somehow now the simplest of tasks elude him and I get messages like "how long should I microwave this left over mash for?" Or "What should I use to clean up ".

When I asked him why he said it's because I'm bossy and he knows if he asks me first I won't blame him if it's not what I want. I don't really think I am bossy and certainly don't care how long he heats his mash up for but there it is! I don't message back if it's ridiculous.

category12 · 26/06/2018 22:50

You need to ignore the stupid questions and not get your phone out when you're having some time out.

Original poster

greeneyedlulu · 26/06/2018 22:53

My phone was out as was my friend's as we were looking at photos of past times, recent holidays but there I am showing a holiday photo and yet another message flashes up!
It's not the end of world but annoying at the time!
As I said, looking forward to Thursday night and a running text commentary for him

OP posts:

lottiegarbanzo · 26/06/2018 22:54

I can't imagine sitting with a friend while they read all those messages. I'd probably ask if they needed to go home and would rather meet up another time.

lottiegarbanzo · 26/06/2018 22:55

Maybe go to the cinema or theatre next time (obligatory switch-off).

tolerable · 26/06/2018 23:01

see..i think....pointing it out..led to..// maybe he wasni trying to irritate you??...

smithsinarazz · 26/06/2018 23:06

Sounds a bit needy to me, but kind of sweet, as long as he isn't the sort who kicks off if you don't reply or any other similar headfuckery.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 26/06/2018 23:12

Occasionally I have to work Sunday's and I get texts or phone calls asking me what he should feed our 5 and 7 year old for lunch. Or telling me they won't eat it or telling me they don't want to go out in the car.
Imagine if I gave him a running commentary of the 3 days a week I'm at home with them!

lottiegarbanzo · 26/06/2018 23:16

Sweet? It sounds pathetic and disruptive to me. What a turn off.

Original poster

greeneyedlulu · 26/06/2018 23:17

Absolutely no headfuckery whatsoever! As I said just irritating when out chatting to a mate, sharing holiday snaps and a text about fish fingers or turkey dinosaurs or I'm making the salad crops up!

I'm not angry fuming just wishing for a bit of peace and quiet text wise whilst he knew I was out!

It's all fine at home and we've laughed about it and he did apologised but that might have been because i said hes due for a running text commentary on Thursday

OP posts:

Atthebottomofthegarden · 26/06/2018 23:17

How extremely irritating. Revenge will, I’m sure, be sweet...

itsbritneybiatch · 26/06/2018 23:19

Sorry I will make everyone sick now but that's usual for us if we are out without each other. Which is rarely.

We text about anything and everything.

We are best mates.

That's just us though.

lottiegarbanzo · 26/06/2018 23:19

He will completely ignore you on Thursday. He has better things to do.

Botanicbaby · 26/06/2018 23:26

OP you can set up your phone to only take calls from certain numbers for emergencies when you’re out.

I wouldn’t pander to him sending all these texts. He’ll soon learn if you don’t reply. He sounds like a needy attention seeking helpless teen not a parent. Can’t he see how rude that was to do that whilst you’re out with friends? Or did he do it deliberately? Annoying AF. I couldn’t be with someone like that.

Original poster

greeneyedlulu · 26/06/2018 23:28

itsbritneybiatch yes I get that as we are the same but when he's out I leave him to it and only text if texts me first

Lottie - chill out babes you're gonna strain something soon

OP posts:

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/06/2018 23:31

I think doing the running commentary is a good idea, he may not reply but he will read them. Make them utterly ridiculous to make your point.

"Just put the TV on"
"Which wine glass should I use?"
"Having a big wee"
"oooh, and a big poo!"
"Just found some blue belly button fluff, but my top is white!"
And loads of random emojis for no apparent reason.

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/06/2018 23:33

Oh and DH will sometimes text me loads from the pub if the convo is about sport (he goes as part of a crowd, not as rude as it sounds!), and it pisses me right off as I am usually trying to enjoy some peace and quiet, so it can work both ways!

itsbritneybiatch · 26/06/2018 23:47

Same as me op.

90% of the time we text all day everyday about nothing.

If he's out with his mates I leave it too but then one of us usually breaks after an hour and then we text all night. We met later in life (late thirties) and were like teenagers

Text each other all day everyday, have a date night every week, sit next to each other all day everyday. We both think we're the lucky one!

Am making myself Vomit now! But that's us. I'm grateful everyday he's amazing x

notacooldad · 26/06/2018 23:47

Jeez, you might not be fuming but I bet it was getting on your mates nerves even if she was to polite to say anything.

I would be mad if DP did that to me. There again they wouldn't and never have.

Ruffian · 26/06/2018 23:50

I'd be a lot less good-humoured about it than you sound, that sort of helpless crap drives me mad!

Follyfoot · 26/06/2018 23:56

I couldn't bear it if DH did this, it's not sweet, it's irritating nonsense. If I'm with a friend, my phone stays in my bag. They deserve my complete attention - that's how we all lived before mobiles were invented, and I cant stand how absolutely everything is interrupted by them, it's really unhealthy, we're forgetting how to focus on just one thing ie the person we are with at that time.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 27/06/2018 00:10

but that might have been because i said hes due for a running text commentary on Thursday

Yeah, we get that. You've said it 4 times within the space of 8 posts. This endlessly needing to message other people with unnecessary and superfluous information seems to be a family affliction!

SeaToSki · 27/06/2018 00:13

I think you need to start prepping some of the texts you are going to semd him.

You could do a running commentary on what is being posted on Mumsnet and who had replied what
You could give him a minute by minute account of what is happening in the road outside your house
You could pretend you are sorting through his sock drawer and describe what you find
.......

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