AIBU to find my 3 year olds behaviour a bit odd?

[southpacificgoat]

OK, posting here for traffic, sorry. DS turned three in May. Up until about three weeks ago he was very reserved with strangers or people he did not see very often. Then, out of the blue he suddenly started joining random groups of adults in the park and started talking to them. In the beginning we were very pleased because it is good to see him come out of his shell a bit, but it is getting a bit out of hand. He'll just say 'I'm going to chat to everyone now' and then just wonder off and go to sit with other people. He gets varying reactions. Some are finding it funny or sweet, others find it intrusive and ignore him or send him back. He is not at all interested in other children his own age, but drawn to adults or much older children. For context, my partner is a SAHD and DS does not yet go to nursery, though will start in September. His dad is great at interacting with DS but a bit of a social recluse. He did a bit of taking DS to playgroups, but found it rather tedious and never persisted. I am a bit socially awkward myself, so poor DS does not have enough social interactions and role models. Is he just really ready for a wider social circle and as we are not providing it he goes out and gets on with it himself, or am I right in thinking there is something a bit odd about his behaviour? Please tell me IABU and this is normal (considering most 3 year olds behaviour is a bit odd at times). I guess I have the very uneducated worry that it might be a sign he could be on the spectrum.

It sounds to me that your ds could do with some time with children his own age.

I don’t read this as on the spectrum, just that he needs more socialisation with children.

Once he starts nursery it will all change. I wouldn't worry OP just isn't used to spending time with children his own age

Thank you, that makes me feel a lot better! He definitely has not got enough interaction with other children at the moment and it will be great for him to start nursery. I am going on maternity leave at the end of this week and can hopefully create more opportunities for him over the summer as well.

We went to a church BBQ once. It was a sit down meal. We had a big family table and were all sitting down when my then 3 year old daughter picked up her plate and went to sit with another family - one we didn't know at all and with no young children of their own. She was quite happy eating her dinner. A woman from the family came over and said DD had said she wanted to sit with them - she looked a bit confused sometimes now DD is a bit older and argues with her siblings constantly I wish she'd sit somewhere else

I also read this as he needs to mix with more people particularly other children his own age.

Over the years I've had a few 3-5 year olds, mostly boys, come up and talk to me. Many just try it to see what reaction they will get and if you talk back will engage in conversation with you.

I don't think it is odd at all - seems quite enterprising of him in the circumstances. He's three - the world is all new and interesting to him, and that means people too - he wants to chat to other people and he's choosing adults because he's not used to talking to children and feels more at home with adults.
Has he started at a playgroup or nursery, or an activity of any kind fro children his age. He would probably enjoy that and learn to start mixing with other children more.

My Ds was an only child until he was five, and he too was quite keen on chatting with adults (and on occasion - say at the zoo or something - he did latch on to 'more interesting' families than his own . You'd see bemused adults looking round to find a very earnest DS pottering along behind them wittering away )

So I wouldn't worry at all (my Ds has grown up fine) once your little boy starts mixing with other children he will learn to interact with them and sounds like he will enjoy doing so. It's great that he has come out of his shell - he sounds like a lovely sociable little chap

Haha, love this @GinDoll

One of my boys did this at that age. Wherever we went he'd make a friend and he'd chat to any adult very happily.

He's a normal, monosyllabic, quite reticent 16 year old now.

It sounds odd to me, it sounds as if he's seen someone else do it and is copying, to suddenly be chatty with strangers when previously reserved is odd.

But seeing someone doing it and copying (if that is what he is doing) is not odd behaviour either, - copying and observing others behaviour is how children learn social interaction.

Only children will do this sometimes. If they haven't been around other kids much then they can just feel more comfortable around adults and start identifying with adults. He needs some friends his own age it sounds like.

Hmm, I had no siblings and was very reserved and would never have started acting that way all of a sudden so to me it's odd. Suddenly being that trusting? Just odd.

I think it’s a little odd. Saying both you and your husband aren’t very social makes me a bit more inclined to see it as odd behaviour. Why is your husband a sahd? Is it something he’s good at and enjoys? Socialization is a huge part of being a parent, he can’t just opt out of it if he finds it tedious. Lots of parenting is tedious.