Can i get some advice? Self Harming related

[RonaldosFace]

My son has been self harming for years. At first it was just little cuts to his arms, hardly noticeable. He was involved with Cahms but to be honest they were a waste of time.

He started doing drugs and ended up arrested for assault and criminal damage. CAHMs were involved again but because of the drugs just referred him to drug workers.

The other day I noticed a big cut across his neck. I thought someone had threatened him, turns out he'd done it himself.

His friend messaged me late the other night saying "have you seen his arms? Please help him".

He will never expose his arms. I got in touch with cahms again yesterday and they said he's still on the waiting list - from Feb!!

This morning I caught him coming out of bathroom with no top on andboh my god his arms, he looks like he's been put through a blender. Extensive cuts from the wrists, up the forearms, all over his upper arms, it's that bad it looks like a sleeve tattoo.

I've called cahms again and was yet again fobbed off. My son told me last night he needs help so he's willing to engage. WTF can I do? Cahms just fob me off everytime I ring them.

Oh no - is GP any use?

You can go to a and e but they can be hit and miss. I have scars literally everywhere but I can explain them away mostly as being 'clumsy. Although I stopped for years I now I a scar so bad I'm refusing to expose my legs (which is making an interesting summer in this heat).

It is serious, and they can help you. Cahms isn't the only service available and they can fast track etc. I've just got out of hospital last week (not self harm but anxiety attacks which usually trigger SH) and they gave me some leaflets I'll dig them out when I get home and pm you

is there a crisis team in your area? if he has cut his neck that would be considered a serious attempt at taking his own life. can the gp not help? is he on medication as it sounds like it needs adjusting. i’m so sorry it must be so difficult and worrying for you

ODFOD LornaMorna80

@LornaMorna80 What a vile thing to say.

My daughter self harmed for years, lornamorna80 that is so unhelpful

Lorna you should be banned permanently for that statement

Lorna why on earth would you say that?

GP will just refer him to cahms. He's not on any medication at all at the moment.

Agree, do try and get hold of your local crisis team, poor thing.

Lorna You're a cunt. HTH.

I think sadly it’s a postcode lottery. Do you have a psychological wellbeing service where you live? If so, they’ll probably allow self-referrals and may well fast track your son, depending on his age. I had to google my local service when suffering with acute anxiety. My gp wasn’t forthcoming with information.

As someone with a history of self harm, I’d say that the fact he’s willing to engage is a major positive. Acknowledgment of the issue took me years and during that time, no amount of help would have made any difference. Self harm is a habit and will be his first recourse when he feels things are too much until he receives help to retrain the mind to divert that frustration elsewhere.

Only other thing I thought of was the Mind charity, but I think they’re also hit and miss depending on where you live.

I really hope you get some help for him soon. It’s heartbreaking to think that so many young people are being let down like this.

Ronaldos just report and ignore that comment.

You could try looking up any specialist counselling for SH in your area.

It really stands out that sometimes it's very difficult accessing the right services

Oh and LornaMorna80 I didn’t want to indulge your stupidity, but you’ve also succeeded in getting a bite from me. You must be one of the lucky ones never to have been affected by mental illness or to have your whole world turned upside down helplessly watching from the sidelines as someone close to you suffers.

People like you are part of the problem and it’s attitudes like yours that lead to others taking their own lives and not seeking help for fear of stigmatisation.

Now kindly fuck off back down whichever hole you came from.

Have you tried any of the charities?

@Lorna....you're a sick person. Get help.

I'm sure you know this, but self harm doesn't automatically lead to suicide.

It's good that your son needs he knows help, and I am so sorry that mental health services are so shit.

Let him know that he is "allowed" to talk about the self harm to you, and make sure he is self-harming safely, ie dressing wounds properly etc.

Some resources here that may or may not be useful:

www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/?ctaId=/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/slices/using-this-tool/

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/#.WzIxjc_TVdo

One of the problems is that if there's any mention of drugs, services can tend to switch off. Does he still take any?

I'd get a proper timeline of what's been happening written down, then try to approach organisations. Good luck with it.

How old is your son? Go back to the GP and say they need to get him a crisis appointment. Would he show his arms to the GP? Is he suicidal? The only option is persistence sometimes

(I was your son, I spent years in and out of psych wards and still have a lot of scarring - I am very happy and settled now, it can get better )