To not understand what an emotional affair is?

[mademybed123]

What would you define as an emotional affair? How does it differ from a close friendship? The opposite gender issue?

And...have you ever had one?

Yes, Ive had an emotional affair, although I didn't recognise it as that at the time, and it was him in the long term relationship not me. It was never sexual but I was deeply, deeply in love with a good friend and he developed feelings for me too over quite a long period of time. It was messy and confusing and sad and I think we must have hurt his then-girlfriend badly (they did eventually break up but there was too much guilt on his part for us to make a go of it). I'm really happy now with my dp and our kids but there's always going to be a sadness there - we fucked up a beautiful friendship and I miss him every day. We're still in touch but only sporadically, we both know that if we get close again it'll get complicated. it was never resolved in a very satisfactory way and that makes it hard too. I'll never properly understand exactly what went on, but it definitely wasn't just about sex.

I think that the questions, "would you be happy for your/his partner to see your texts/messages?" and, "how would you feel if someone you loved were engaging with another woman like that?" are pertinent.

An emotional affair is where you fall in love with someone, and they do with you. You gaze into each other’s eyes and say that it just can’t be..... you find reasons to meet, you feel ridiculously excited . Can’t sleep, can’t eat. Can’t think about anything else. Text endlessly.
You might hold hands, but you never kiss, and never shag( though you probably talk about it).