using non-family babysitter for bedtime

[LegsOfGlass]

Family party before/during toddler DD’s bedtime away from home. All potential family babysitters are going the party except one who was going to have DD but will now be recovering from surgery and is unable. Never left her with a non-family member before for bedtime. Not in our hometown so can’t ask one of her nursery workers if they’d like a bit of overtime. No friends in party town that I could ask. Found some nanny/babysitting agencies online but feel uneasy although can’t put my finger on why.

I really want to go to the party - I’ve paid for half of it! So do I need tips to chill re: using professional childcare in evenings? Or can’t I go? My family think I am being uptight although none of their kids were ever left at bedtime with non-family until past school age.

What I meant to ask was when did you use a non-family babysitter for the first time? And if you were anxious then what strategies did you use?

Well, so many people do it that they have built businesses and agencies for it, so, yes, probably just chill out about it.

I use sitters. They've been fine. I usually let DC stay up to meet the baby sitter. She plays a few games with them and then puts them to bed.

I have only ever left my children with non family babysitters. I mostly used friend's daughters or local teenagers. It was always fine.

My DC was 4 months the first time. She sent me a few texts to let me know all was ok.

By she, I obviously mean the baby sitter!!

If your dd goes to nursery (implied in your op), isn't that already babysitting by non family members?

Used 2 friends at about 3 months old, they put her to bed

Noqont haha that made me giggle. Your 4 year old texting would be a new level of mumsnet boasting!!

i mean 4 month

arethereanyleftatall

Nursery is NOT babysitting and nursery workers are NOY bloody babysitters and no I'm not a nursery worker before you jump to that conclusion.

We used our babysitter from 2 and actually I totally trust her and feel more comfortable with her than any of our family frankly. But the key is having someone you trust and who your child knows. Our babysitter was her nursery worker so we’d known her almost 2 years by that point. Personally, no I’d not leave either of mine with a stranger for evenings until we got to know them.

Personally I don't think a complete stranger should put a child to bed.

Personally I don't think a complete stranger should put a child to bed.

This

Book a babysitter! If you go through an agency (whereabouts will the party be? I'm sure I can recommend one!) they will be DBS checked, first aid trained, professionally qualified in childcare and no doubt have a day job caring for little ones too. I do a LOT of babysitting bookings similar to what you described, and they nearly always they go without a hitch. If little one has any wobbles when mum walks out the door I whip a mini pot of bubbles or a story book out of my bag and all is well again. I think the trick is to show your little one that you're happy with the situation, and they will relax and enjoy having all the attention on them.

@ThinkingCat hope it's nice up there on your high horse, but not everyone has family close by. We have none and when they do visit we are from a culture where the standard is that your elders get waited on (and therefore get babysat themselves more than do babysitting!), our friends are nice but mostly have no kids and wouldn't be confident enough to do an evening, or have babies of their own... are we supposed to wait until they are 3 and meet nursery workers to ever have a night out together?

OP - there are some lovely babysitters we've found, like you we have young children so I prefer that either they come from recommendations via friends (mostly au pairs, nursery workers and nannies, who have a dbs check as I'm paranoid) or via an agency/sitters where they've been vetted. I don't trust Facebook posts on local mums groups etc, there have been some scary stories - would prefer to go with Sitters where the people you use have lots of recommendations.

Noqont haha that made me giggle. Your 4 year old texting would be a new level of mumsnet boasting!!

Personally I don't think a complete stranger should put a child to bed

As in, they should already be in bed or you don't agree with using an agency?

Namechange128 I don't care if you think I'm on my high horse - I wouldn't get a stranger to put my child to bed.

wouldn't get a stranger to put my child to bed.

Don't then. No ones forcing you to. I'm quite happy with the agency I use and it's been a good experience. You don't want to do that. Thats fine. We're all different.

dc1 was a few weeks old but she was the dd of our Childminder, and had 100x more experience with looking after babies than dh and I put together. . She also knew ds and her Mum was about 300 yards away even if she had been worried about anything.

Generally though, once our dc were a bit older, whenever we introduced a new babysitter, they would either be people they already knew in some way - neighbour, family from Church or one of their swimming coaches for a few examples, or we'd have them over before hand to introduce them to each other first.
Never used an agency.