To think I’ve messed everything up

[creamandpink]

Sorry for a very pitiful and woe is me post ... I know I’m being really negative and miserable but I can’t seem to shake myself out of it.

I struggled for years to try and ensure I had qualifications to get a good job and ensure security for me and my family. The job is making me utterly miserable and I know this is temporary and I’ll find another one but for now it’s rubbish.

I have no confidence in myself and so can’t really meet anybody. Friends are all understandably busy with their own lives.

I know I sound a bit stupid and dramatic but all I can see is this, working on my own in a job I hate and that stresses me out until it’s finally time to retire and then a bleak lonely retirement One of my children has special needs and probably will never live independently.

Anyway, sorry that was a long miserable bleak post!

To be a bit harsh: if you keep that attitude, yes, it will be.

Only you are responsible for change in your life. If you want to be more confident, get some self-help books on it from the library and try to implement it.

Make sure you are receiving all the support/benefits you are entitled to for your DC.

Every day think of 5 things that are OK about your job (even if it is tangentially related: ie- I like that there is a nice garden square next to my office where I can eat my lunch or I like that I can listen to music in my headphones when I do spreadsheets). Learn how to clock in and clock out mentally to your job. Your job does not define you, it enables you to earn a salary to live the life you want.

Write down 5 tangible goals for different aspects of your life until Christmas that you can focus on. Make sure they are realistic and only require you. So don't say "get a boyfriend" say "Read 3 books on improving self confidence". Or Try a new hobby you always wanted to try. Or join a support group for parents of special needs children.

You will be surprised how much feeling like you are accomplishing things makes you feel better about yourself as well as make you more attractive to others.