To just want my mum

[jamoncrumpets]

I have a newborn DC and a demanding 3yo and all I can think about is how much I wish I could see my mum, or just hear her voice. But she died over eight years ago. No reassuring voice on the telephone. No anecdotes about when I was that age. No maternal support to fall back onto.

Just silence. Punctured by hungry baby cries.

Me too. Only been 3 months but have 2.8 yr old and 7 mo and I wish I could tell her all the stuff we've been doing etc.

Go easy on yourself wedo, 3 mths is so so fresh.

Be comforted by her love for you. That never dies x

Me too. I'm pregnant with my first and my mum died in January. It's bloody hard. It's a gap you can't fill.

I'm so sorry ladies

I'm sorry too for you all. That is really tough

Oh jamon, how heartbreaking. I’m so sorry. Newborn/toddler days are so hard. Your hurt and yearning leaps out of your op. I’m sorry i have nothing useful to say, but i wanted you to know that i sympathise. Congratulations on your newborn btw i know it’s a struggle but it will get easier - they will be off playing together before you know it. Not that that makes this time or missing your mum any easier to bear, i know. X

I know exactly how you feel. Felt the same soon after I gave birth. Deffo wish she was here too xxx

I feel for all of you. My mum died 5 years ago and there are still days I just want my mum. My ds is a teenager now and I know she’d just really like him.

It must be so hard with little ones.

The women on here are fab though and we will all be a bit of a mum to you if you need us. Be kind to yourself (all of you in this position) xx

I get this. My
Mum died in 2009 before I had children. My dad died 2 yeas later, so my 3.5 year old and my 2 year old never met either of them.

I frequently wish I had someone to call to ask advice/ask what I was like at that age, but I don’t. It really sucks and it’s a very lonely feeling.

I'm sorry OP I wish your mum was still here for you.

Hugs. Lost my mam when my ds was 18 months. It's shit, always thought she would be a part of his life, before she got sick.

oh OP. It’s both sad and beautiful. Sad because your mum isn’t here. But beautiful because you must have been close to her to miss her so much.

To have had that kind of relationship with your mum is a blessing. Xx

My Mum gave up work and moved in with me to help me with my baby daughter.
she died 2 years ago, when my DD was 16yo.

I owe my Mum sooooo much, miss her wise words, her laughter and conversation, i was a complete twat as a teenager, how she put up with i'll never know.

Yanbu.

My mum died over 30 years ago and I desperately wanted her there when my dd was born

I remember when I was pregnant I got asked a lot “is your mum excited?” I couldn’t bear to tell them the truth and just nodded a lot.

Sending a big hug your way xxx

My Mum died exactly a month before Dd was born, almost 17yrs ago, there's still times I want to phone her.

I don’t have a ‘real’ mum. I still wanted her there when I had a newborn. Or just anyone who was my ‘mum’

I get your pain.

My Mum died last March, 3 months before my wedding (short, terminal illness). I was an only child to a single parent and her not being here is a huge part of the reason I am putting off TTC. I'm terrified of doing it without her. I still pick up the phone to call her

Big hugs- it gets better, my mum died when DD was 3.5 and just broke her leg, DS was 3 months. Mum was in Australia so couldn't even be with her. I miss her so much, even now, and she died in 2012 - anniversary next week
But you learn to get on and be the mummy figure for your loved ones

Yep and honestly it never goes away but it does get easier. It's totally unfair, every new mom should have the reassurance and support of their mother but sadly for a lot of us it's not the case.

Oh it’s so sad and unfair and gutting...

Look after yourselves

My mum died just before my eldest's first birthday. 17 years, and I still miss her every day

My mum died 19 years ago when my children were 11 and 14. She died before I had my now 16 year old, I miss her every day. Mums rock