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AIBU?

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Reason to leave DH

5 replies

JenRach12 · 24/06/2018 20:24

My DH has been smoking weed for the majority of our relationship. I can't stand the smell lingering in our home or his lack of motivation to do anything and I have felt this way for a long time. I am also worried about how other people perceive his habit as I know that my siblings, parents, friends etc all think that it's a vile habit and I can't help but feel that this therefore reflects badly on me. He's a great DH in other ways but I cannot shake off the unease that smoking gives me. I've threatened to leave him many times before and have so stupidly taken him back each time because when we argue about it, he makes me feel like I'm in the wrong and that I'm being controlling and harsh. He says he'll stop nearly every week but constantly changes the goalpost and has recently hinted that he will never stop- even though we share a home together and he knows I loathe it. This is our relationship's Achilles heel and is all we ever argue about. He makes me feel like I'm crazy for getting angry about it!!!

Can anyone else give me some advice om how to stand my ground? Will this ever get better?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 24/06/2018 20:27

Probably not. I've (personally) never met a man weedhead who has ever stopped. Some woman have and then left those men, but never seen a man give up.

This is your life you can accept it or not but arguing about it just wastes energy.

onceisawabee · 24/06/2018 20:31

You knew what he was like going in to the relationship OP.

My partner smokes weed and I don't. We agreed that it is only smoke in the space room which doubles as his office with the door shut and the window open.

And I invest in decent air fresheners

LEMtheoriginal · 24/06/2018 20:32

My dp used to smoke weed all the time before he met me. He just stopped I think so yes people do stop. However I couldn't live with someone who did this

Catmum26 · 24/06/2018 20:33

he’s been smoking weed for the majority of your relationship and you’ve always hated it yet you still married him. personally i wouldnt marry someone who did drugs if i hated it so much. of course he won’t give it up if he’s been doing it years and for as long as you have known him. you can’t really argue about something you knew he did before you got married. if you really hate it and can’t get past it then you should give him an ultimatum of you or the weed. but you have to be strong to leave if he picks the drugs .

JenRach83 · 24/06/2018 20:33

He didn't start smoking until we were in a relationship so unfortunately I had no warning. He just tried it once on a night out (he didn't tell me) and the next thing I knew, he was doing it every day!

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