I don't know what to do or where to go from here.
My depression has hit an all time low lately. I'm not going to do anything silly, but I've definitely been having 'what's the point?' thoughts.
I've been on Sertraline for a couple of years now. Starting on the lowest dose and now at the highest they can give me. I've had counselling which I didn't find to be of much help, but the dr is referring me back for another go at it.
I'm not laying in bed all day unable to do things. The house is fine, the shopping is done, meals are cooked, my kids are happy etc.
I'm just sort of numb to life. I don't seem to have any emotions besides anger and sadness. I don't feel happy or excited about anything. I feel emotionally detached from everything.
The very brief backstory is that I was in an emotionally abusive/controlling relationship for 5 years before having a brief fling with someone which ended in a rape resulting in my eldest child. She was prem and it all lead to depression and PND. 2nd daughter came along, premature also. Depression reappeared. Diagnosed with S.A.D. that year. Then a bout of severe health anxiety after a traumatic hospital stay which plunged me back into depression again. Things picked up for a while and then the dark clouds slowly came back to the point that I'm at where I am now.
I don't know what I can do or how to get away from this feeling.
I'm a SAHM with a supportive partner. My eldest is about to go primary school and my youngest off to nursery. So I'll have more time to focus on 'me'.
How did you get yourself out of the deep hole? What helped?
I'm feeling that maybe the medication is what's causing me to feel numb to life. So maybe wean myself off of it but try something else 'natural' or some lifestyle changes?
I don't know what I'm hoping from this post. Just someone else who has gotten past this.
Sorry for the ramble, thanks for getting this far! 