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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be very confused

6 replies

Uhuhhoney · 24/06/2018 12:29

Me and my ex broke up last October, very messily. We carried on sleeping together and seeing each other until January.

As a bit of background, i was in a really bad place with mental health - depression, body dismorphic disorder so i clung to him alot. He met me 2 weeks after the breakdown of a 4 year relationship where she cheated on him. We were together around a year. My mental health paired with his desire to take things slowly was a recipe for disaster.

We went no contact in January after he played with the idea of getting back together, got my hopes up, and turned around one day and said we had no future. I was devastated and tried really hard to stop all contact. And i did.

On Friday i found out my friend had been spreading rumours that i was pregnant with his baby, and was drinking still etc. I am not pregnant. This friend is aware that me and thr ex had an abortion so its a sensible subject. Anyway one of his friends text me asking, so i thought i just had to tell the ex it was all a lie. I unblocked his number and rang him. Basically said dont believe what shes saying. Turns out he is moving away for 6 months for work and wants to meet up. So we met up yesterday
Had dinner and talked from about 5-1 this morning. It was really emotional a lot of regrets and i love yous and i still feel the same about you. He asked me to go and visit him out there. When we said goodbye we had a kiss and kept hugging.

What was the point of this

OP posts:
Butterflykissess · 24/06/2018 12:33

maybe this would be better on the relationships board?

Excited0803 · 24/06/2018 12:34

He likes having you hanging around in case he needs you, but it sounds like he doesn't want a relationship with you right now. Did he tell you there was no future to be cruel, because you were arguing or because he means it? It doesn't sound positive. Do you want a relationship with him still? If so, talk to him about whether he does now see a future for you both, but be prepared that his answer may well be no.

Uhuhhoney · 24/06/2018 12:45

No he used to speak about needing to leave the city we live to clear his head. I know he doesnt want a relationship. I guess in my mind i thought of him moving on quickly and forgetting about us. It was hard to hear he still had feelings but still needed to get away too

OP posts:
Cutyourshakehole · 24/06/2018 12:55

He’s keeping you on a string and playing with you to get what he wants when he wants. Dot fuck up your health for him. Block.

VladmirsPoutine · 24/06/2018 12:58

The long and short of it is that the longer you continue to engage with this man the longer and more painful it will become. You need to cut him out of your life and seek therapy to address your underlying mental health.

NomNomNomNom · 24/06/2018 13:33

It does sound like he likes having you around on the back burner. I would block his number and try to move on. Him being away is a positive in this respect.

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