To ask them to pay

[Alwayscommuting]

So my little sister and myself are planning a surprise for my mum. She has a big birthday soon. She's not a party person so we've gone for dinner out.
We've reserved a function room at a hotel she likes and they've given us a special menu at £25 per head. My sister is still a student so she can't help and if I'm honest I'm not very well off myself so we have invited people to come and let them know ahead of time how much it will be per head.
I do feel a bit guilty, I would much rather have been able to pay for everyone and just have them come along. People invited are mostly family and a few people she's close with from work. So my question is WIBU to organise this knowing I would be asking people to pay their own way?

You have been upfront with everyone about the cost so I can't see an issue. There is nothing wrong with asking people to pay as long as they are clear in advance that that is the expectation.

However I would warn the venue that you are not taking the costs for any drinks. Any drinks ordered need to be paid for by the person at the time ot you could find yourself with a large alcohol bill!

YANBU. If you cooked a meal at home I think it would come across badly to ask for money but in a hotel it's fine as long as you're clear.

We did this for my dad's birthday. It was just immediate family including his two sisters who travelled to spend the weekend with us as a surprise. We sorted out accomodation for them and they ate with us but everyone was happy to pay for their own meals at the hotel on the night.

It was just lovely to be together with all the family.

Always one person thinking they are clever and/or funny on a thread, when in fact they are just plain rude 🙄🤷‍♀️ @tripYouOut

OP It's absolutely fine to ask if people want to share a meal out to celebrate a birthday, as long as they know the score from the off. If, on the other hand, you invite them to 'a birthday party' they might not be expecting to pay, so just make it clear and all will be well. They can always say no if they can't afford it xx

Yes, once everyone knows what to expect in advance I think it's fine.

It would be nice if you could make a contribution towards the drinks bill.

It would be nice if you could make a contribution towards the drinks bill.

^I agree

Yanbu. Been to loads of events like this. Just be upfront before hand. No one minds paying if they know before hand. If they dont want to pay they just dont come. Trip...do you live in the real world?

I / myself do think I'm quite amusing, yes.

I'm disappointed that a little poking fun is all it takes to now be referred to s "s/he".

Not too long ago you had to really work hard for passive aggressive aspersions as to your gender.

Come off it. S/he merely means no one has anyway of knowing if you are a man or a woman. That said, presumably you are a woman because men on this site have a habit of starting every comment they write with "As a man..." regardless of what is being discussed.

@burnoutbabe yes, we are both 20 something's and our dad isn't on the scene. @tripYouOut sorry about the grammar my sister is the English student and she would be mortified by my mistake