To think I didn't get to a shop yesterday is not

[Fantasticday09]

An excuse.
Ok I know it is trivial and cards are a waste of money etc etc but
Yet again dh didn't bother to get an Anniversary card. I am not materialistic and I am not bothered by gifts etc but I do like a card.
I have just been struck again by how selfish dh is. I came down as per usual and sorted kids etc etc. He finally surfaced at 10.15 from his hobby room I presume to announce that he would be having tv for 3 hours for the Grand Prix.
So is he selfish?

It's not as if there was not a year's advance notice of the anniversary. Though this does seem small compared to the other issues the OP raises.

It isn't really about the card though. The card was just a moment or realisation or maybe a catalyst for me to take some action. Not going to ltb yet but things need to change.
The gaming room is also used by the kids and we did have enough to pay off what was left on the mortgage too.
I will be taking youngest out as the Grand Prix really isn't my thing. I do watch Corrie incidentlally but he is very vocal in saying how crap it is.

The older two would rather stay home and play with their tech in separate rooms.
Happy weekend hey.

So his hobby is gaming and then he wants to watch hours of sport on tv. May be fine if you didn't have kids but as a father this is whack, let alone being a crap husband.

As others have said, hard to judge from a snapshot, but I’d be less bothered about the card than about him opting out of parenting at the weekend.

Maybe he feels that because he worked all week and parented for a whole day yesterday that he deserves a day off.
Love to know when I get my whole day off. Yes I do get some free time during the week as I work flexibly and do get the odd weekend away but I than come home to a tip. Basic jobs are done but in a half arsed way. Wet laundry not hung up etc etc.

Not going to ltb yet but things need to change.

How? Do you really think he will change his whole perception of his role and your role. He honestly sees you an inferior to him. This is fundamental to his character. How are you going to change that?

I don't think you will. I think you will keep accepting his treatment of you and keep complaining about it although that will lessen over time as you gradually accept that this is your lot, this is what you choose and you will live with it.

Sorry to put a bummer on your anniversary though

Inheritance was used for a gaming room? Which nobody but he uses?? Wanker. And he’d rather be in there gaming while you take the kids out on a beautiful day like this? Double wanker. Bar financial support, what is he bringing to the relationship?

^ this

He’s a selfish ducker who’s only interested in himself. He won’t change. It’s shit

The shops are open now...

I'm relatively fresh from the discovery that my birthday present was the new brake pads my van had a couple of weeks ago OP, so I have some ides how you feel. I wouldn't really have cared if my present had been a 'voucher' for an afternoon off child wrangling so that I could do something relaxing or even do nothing for an hour or so- anything that would have demonstrated a little thought or some understanding of the things that are important to me, but I did get a nice card from the children and a present from them so I suppose I'm in a better position than most. It's disheartening to realise that the person you share your life with hasn't put any effort into something that's important to you, but hard to approach it when the problem is that you want them to do it because they want to, not because they've been told to.

Well I have had an apology and an offer to get one tomorrow. Ere no I would rather you loaded the dishwasher as I ended up cooking. He did offer but had he cooked it would have been something from the freezer. Whereas I had mince which needed to be eaten and he would have judt made burgers with it.

OP. You have more to worry about than mince.