To be annoyed about these small things

[Bearfam]

I've reduced my dose of antidepressants recently and I'm still experiencing a few side effects which will hopefully even out soon, rather than a return of depression symptoms as I've been doing well for quite a while.

I feel I'm quick to lose my temper with my partner at the moment so wanted a sense check on a few things;

Yesterday I drove us over 300 miles (he doesn't drive) it was boiling, a crash on the motorway and the fairly crappy at best cooling fans in my car are broken. By the time we checked in to our hotel I was done in. When we got to our room my dp said you had a bit of a face on there (check in with receptionist) and didn't come across as very friendly.

So I said we'll thanks for that but wtf do you want me to do about that now? We're here for one night and it's not 24hr reception so probably not going to see reception staff again! I just don't get why he'd say this what's going to come from it other than make me more grumpy.

My partner doesn't remove/ change his alarm on his phone so it goes off at 6 effing 30 am. We're away for a few days and I'd really rather not wake up that early after my massive drive yesterday and a boiling hot night. I know feel shattered and have big eye bags.

So AIBU to be wound up by those two things. I was only annoyed in the moment. But ofern feel my reaction overshadows any slight miss step on his part. They are such small things but thought I'd ask for opinions as I'm hyper aware of my emotions at the moment.

I guess maybe you were fed up but ought to have been friendlier to the receptionist. The alarm, I'd be annoyed but get over it quickly. It's frustrating but no big deal

I think his two crimes fall on the "mildly annoying" rather than "appalling bastard" bit of the sliding scale of things to get cross about. But when you're hot and tired and changing medication it's very hard to keep a sense of perspective about anything - and he needs to be mindful of that, as well. I hope you have a better day today.

Oh yes he's definitely not an appaling bastard! He's currently sorting breakfast while I lie in bed. Thanks for a bit 9f perspective and being kind!

I would have told him to start driving lessons to take some of the burden from you. Non drivers have no idea how tiring a 300 mile drive can be for the driver.

As for his alarm, next time throw it out the window or down the loo. Bet he’d change the alarm time then.

I'd be feeling murderous about the alarm, so you're not alone there.

Telling me I shouldn't be feeling like I am when wacked after long drive - also not ok. Being more concerned with me making a good impression with hotel staff, than with how I'm feeling, - hmm, not good. Pointing out inadvertent rudeness - if that's what it really was - fair comment.

I don't think it's wrong to point out rudeness to staff. I'd be a little appalled if my DH was rude or "off" to a receptionist.

There's never an excuse for being rude to staff...or anyone really...if they're just being normal/doing their job.

The alarm thing is annoying but you have to let things like that go.

In fairness the DP said that he thought she was a bit off. Had a bit of a face....nothing more concrete than just the to be of her expression. I don't know why he felt the need to bring that up. If she was totally rude to the staff in a measurable way then that's fair comment. She wasn't.

From my point of view, you were tired and stressed on top of reducing meds which is a tricky combo. Having a commentary running on the quality of your social interactions is not helpful.
OP take care of yourself and if u think u r feeling stressed don't let it build. Tell your DP how u feel and that he might be a bit more aware .

Tbh, I think instead of your partner saying “you had a face on and weren’t very friendly” maybe he should’ve said “are you ok?”

Is partner aware you’ve reduced your antidepressants?

I’m not saying it doesn’t matter to be nice to service staff, because manners do matter. But maybe being more tapped in to you would be better.

As for the alarm, well it’s just good manners to unset if you don’t need to be up. That kind of thing winds me up too.

I’d be fucked off about the alarm. Massively.

These things would have hugely annoyed me too! I think I would have thrown the phone against the wall!

I just didn't really say anything to the receptionist except hello and thanks so wasn't actively rude in anyway. I worked in a customer service job for several years so I agree on the being rude to staff thing.

Bit of a dick thing to say to you re receptionist if you weren’t rude.

300 miles, to a non driver probably doesn’t seem to bad, but it can be exhausting. Why doesn’t he drive? How has he got you running the two of you around while he gets to sit in the passenger seat then criticise you for being a bit moody at the other end?

The alarm thing I’d find very annoying as I struggle getting back to sleep.
I can see his point if you came across as rude to the reception staff but not the end of the world and he didn’t really need to pull you up on it given the circumstances, especially if you’re usually polite to people providing a service.

X post- YWNBU then.