AIBU or is he...

[Sealant]

Me, DH and our 5 month old baby have been out for the evening, nice night with no rows or drama.

We was upstairs in a venue without a lift so had to carry the pram up and back down. As DH had drunk quite a few pints, I asked another family member who we was with to help me carry the pram down, with the sleeping baby inside, as we were leaving.

DH has taken offence to this, saying I have mugged him off and that I’m saying he would intentionally put our baby at risk. He said that if he felt he was too drunk to carry the pram then he would have said so, it’s his decision to make.

He chewed my ear off the whole drive home and despite trying I couldn’t articulate a response which would appease him.

So AIBU or is he?

He is being v unreasonable

My Dad did something like this when dd was small - insisting on holding her when he was too drunk, or trying to insist. And he is a bit of a problem drinker. Normally drinkers are happy to admit they are a bit pissed and laugh about it.

The fact he argued all the way home.also suggested he was too drunk. He's effectively made your point!

Remind him that, famously, people who have had a drink are not the best at self-assessment. It's not his decision to make when his decision-making faculties are impaired. Ask him very seriously if his pride is more important to him than his baby's safety.

If this were the other way around, would your partner have discussed it with you before asking someone for help carrying a pram?

Imagine this thread if roles were reversed. Everyone would be hating on DH showing his tipsy wife up.

I'd leave him. This will only escalate. Who the fuck needs to have a discussion about the miniature of life? Is it so that he can ensure everything goes his way? Do these discussions ever result in things going a different way to his input?

We’ve sat down and had a chat. It’s not linked to the banana incident at all, he said that didn’t bother him more than what he said and he’d forgotten about it.

He said the issue is that I embarrassed him in front of my family by announcing across the table that my niece was going to help, implying he was too drunk to look after his baby and he’d put her in danger. I explained to him that’s not what happened at all, nor was it my intention to embarrass him.

I did say it openly but everyone was broken off chatting in groups and no one else was listening.

We’ve agreed that if there is a next time I could be a bit more discreet and he could be less sensitive.

He said that if he felt he was too drunk to carry the pram then he would have said so, it’s his decision to make.

This makes no sense. When you're drunk, or sleepy, not only are you possibly incompetent to do X, you are also incompetent to decide whether you are competent to do X.

What would happen if you just told him to get over himself?

But wouldn't everyone else have seen that he had been drinking anyway? You weren't telling them anything they didn't already know. He sounds very insecure and a bit paranoid which concerns me.

Tell if that if he is that bothered about people thinking he is too drunk to care for his baby, then he shouldn't drink! Otherwise to lighten up as he is making something out of nothing.

He is the one with the issue, not you OP. Don't let his irrational outbursts control you.