To ask what would do if this was your life?

[Tobythecat]

If this was your life, how would you feel about it, and what would you do?

1. Autistic and suffer greatly for it
2. Unemployed due to the above/unable to work
3. Never had a relationship/sex due to the autism, and nobody seems interested due to the above.
4. Unlikely to have children due to the above
5. Unable to drive/learn to drive due to the autism, sensory overload and dissociation (which is terrifying and happens nearly all the time)
6. Unable to go for a walk alone due to the autism (Sensory overload from cars, difficulty crossing roads)
7. Have 1 sibling who is indifferent towards you and doesn't give a shit
8. Live in a rented house (rented from stepdad) who is emotionally abusive and lets himself into my home when he likes.

This is my life. Can you understand the despair, frustration and hopelessness? Am i just feeling sorry for myself? How would you feel if this was your life, honestly?

I'd feel shit, what are you going to do about it?

8.. you can change - move house

But you recognise your problems - how are you going to change things?

Change what you can

Can you approach the adult safeguarding team/disabled adults team/adult autism team in your area and ask what they would recommend, signpost or provide because it does sound like you have a poor quality of life and could use some support in some of those areas.

I would feel I had an uphill struggle, but I don't think it means your life can't get better. I have two children with autism, I know several adults with autism who age done many of the things you feel you cannot. However, if you have met one person with autism then you have just met ONE person with autism.

You kind of need to break it down for me why your autism is affecting you in a way you can't achieve those things. I think if you want something bad enough you can. But I am not for one second implying that it's easy and it's going to be much harder for you than the average person without autism.

What sort issues prevent you from getting a job for example? The fact is not everyone can do everything. I am deaf, so many jobs are closed off from me, I am also dyslexic so I struggle in other areas. There are plenty of things I cannot do but there are plenty of things I can. Perhaps we can find ways around some of the barriers you face.

That sounds very hard, OP. I’m afraid as it’s on AIBU, you’ll get some unsympathetic replies though.
From what you’ve described I’d imagine moving to a new rental would be a priority where you can be independent and secure. Would you need help to arrange that?

why are you totally unable to work? Most autistic children I have cared for have found a job when they grew up. Catering and gardening seem to be favourite, but also a fair few in manufacturing ,and several artists.

It's difficult to say what you should do OP because we don't know you. When circumstances are tough it's easy to get into the habit of saying 'no' to everything, and to change your focus to what you can do is hard - but it's worth it. What do you like to do?

I would second getting in contact with adult social services. I understand the driving and walking part as I'm in a similar situation myself. Are you getting all the benefits you are entitled to?

Move.
Get a structure to your routine by doing volunteering or studying towards a job. It is harder finding and keeping a job when you’re autistic but not impossible.
Are you getting DLA? Apply if not. Are you getting ESA?

Have you friend online dating?

Do you have any autistic friends? Can you form a support group?

There is hope!

I also have ASD.

Have you been to university? If not can you go?
Do you have a special interest?

My life would have been shit without persuing those things.