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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this 'Austerity Day' is one of the most patronising things I've ever seen?

337 replies

NoHunsHereHun · 23/06/2018 13:59

St Paul's Girls school having to eat baked potatoes and fresh fruit for lunch. For a day. I mean FFS, there are SO many better ways to help. Volunteering at a food bank for one.
www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-44578499

OP posts:
voddiekeepsmesane · 24/06/2018 19:42

Omfg these girls and their families have no fucking idea about how austerity has hit many families like mine that rely on benefits through PIP. I find this kind of behaviour really really offensive.

Tanith · 24/06/2018 19:42

DS is on a very substantial bursary.

The school has no uniform and a second hand shop for clothing needed. They also have a clothing allowance. The bursary includes educational trips and extras.

We are not well off, certainly not elite. So DS is not at all financially privileged.

However, he and his friends recognise and appreciate how lucky they are to be at the school and would consider themselves privileged in that respect.

I really don’t get the antipathy towards these children.

Xenia · 24/06/2018 19:52

People just get jealous because their children can't pass the entrance test etc. it is hardly a particularly rich school compared with some of the UK's boarding schools and you only get in if you are very clever so most very rich people have no hope of getting in.

voddiekeepsmesane · 24/06/2018 20:02

Xenia do fuck off I am not jealous. I went to boarding school in NZ. DP went to QE Boys. We are both well educated 40 somethings. DP was diagnosed 10 years ago with a degenerative eye condition and is now blind I am his full time carer. Our DS (14yo) passed his 11+ with only home tuition and goes to our local partially selective outstanding school. BUT This kind of patronising behaviour is so out of place in today's society and if you don't see that then you are also part of the problem IMO

MariaMadita · 24/06/2018 20:06

We are not well off, certainly not elite. So DS is not at all financially privileged.

However, he and his friends recognise and appreciate how lucky they are to be at the school and would consider themselves privileged in that respect.

That's exactly what I meant. Not everyone is lucky (or privileged) enough to have supportive parent(s).
Or a stable home life.
Or a permanent place of residence.
Or a place to do homework with. Or the electricity to use their laptop etc...

And not everyone is lucky (or privileged) enough to pass the entrance test either (=lucky to be intelligent and / or test well)...

Thesearepearls · 24/06/2018 20:09

I dont agree Xenia

It is fair to say that most people cannot get in. This is because it is a highly selective school. They get to pick the people who come in.

It is not fair to say that most rich people cannot get in. Only rich people can get in. That is the nature of the school

Oh and by the way. I do not live in London therefore St Pauls was not an option for my DC. But I have every confidence that they would have got in - they're bright kids who have done very well.

I'm kind of glad that I am not in the London mix for schools. Half the girls at St Pauls have eating disorders. It's somewhat infamous for this. Mine do not - they are mentally healthy - and their academic achievements are outstanding. And what's more - they are happy.

noblegiraffe · 24/06/2018 20:19

Painting people who don’t send their kids their as jealous instead of engaging with what is actually being said is poor argument technique.

I hope not the product of an expensive education.

noblegiraffe · 24/06/2018 20:24

And I do know that it’s there not their Hmm

LARLARLAND · 24/06/2018 20:26

Xenia You are absolutely brilliant. Are you like this with your own DC? Do they tell you you have no filter? I have to say I think I would like you if we met although you would probably think I am a pleb!

LARLARLAND · 24/06/2018 20:27

Having said that can I just say that I went to a rubbish comprehensive and yet I know that you should have used the word 'envious' rather than 'jealous.' They are quite different things.

trumpetoftheswan · 24/06/2018 21:23

It must be weird to be so convinced that you're right, when actually you have no idea what you're talking about.

Seems to put the person in a happy place though.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 24/06/2018 21:28

Privilege is about confidence as well as about as wealth.

Children who are brought up with aspirations, who are taught to identify with the successful people they see around them, will expect to do well and go to university etc. The St Pauls pupils will almost certainly be taking it for granted that their parents will support them through their education and probably for some time after their education.

Families who don't have secure housing, or enough money for food and basics simply don't have the same starting point.

That's why teaching about austerity should not about 'eating down' for one meal.

tinyme77 · 24/06/2018 21:41

Name was a bit poor but I think that people are getting upset over nothing. They've raised some money for charity by having cheaper food. There are a lot worse things going on in the world that the moaners could put their energy into.

Thesearepearls · 24/06/2018 21:58

One of the things that really preoccupies me nowadays is how disconnected we are from one another

Brexit really brought it home to me. See I knew no-one, absolutely no-one who would have voted for Brexit. Not one single person.

Yet the country still voted for it. It's kind of like SPGS - they hit the wrong note and they absolutely have no comprehension why they hit the wrong note. It's the whole London disconnected bubble at work again.

Wouldn't it be better if we could find a way to connect outside our own bubbles? I think the poster who said downthread that a period of time working in a food bank would have done the SPGS kids a whole lot more good had it right.

Finallybreathingout · 24/06/2018 22:13

Children don't have free travel in London. Free on buses and trams up to 16 (18 if I'm full-time Education) and reduced rate on tubes and trains. So travelling any distance to school is an additional cost for a family.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 24/06/2018 22:17

Totally agree these. I had the same thing with Brexit - the result was a total surprise to me. I only know a couple of people who voted to Leave.

It requires thought and effort to meet people who are different from ourselves. Even a small thing like arranging a community meeting in a pub or a coffee shop or each others houses, could put off a lot of people who are not comfortable in a pub, can't afford a coffee, or wouldn't want to have the obligation hanging over them of one day being expected to invite strangers in to their house.

specialsubject · 24/06/2018 22:30

under 11s DO travel free in London on all services. either go with an adult or said adult organises a free pass for kids.

source - tfl website.

holy city privilege.

Finallybreathingout · 24/06/2018 22:37

But we're talking about secondary school kids here, special. Mostly I guess, although I know children under 11 travel to private schools too.

Pengggwn · 25/06/2018 07:22

However much is offered in a bursary by a London private school, nearly all of the children are frI'm very well-off families. Obviously. That isn't a criticism of them and their families, but it is true.

Needmoresleep · 25/06/2018 07:25

"holy city privilege"

Both mine were offered state secondaries at least three changes of bus/tube. DS was only offered a place in May and would have had to travel through two boroughs to get there. DD did not get her nearest school. Gove, Cameron and Adonis did, as did the DDs of several senior Labour politicians.

In fairness SPGS do give a fair number of 100% bursaries, and in London private schools this can often mean help with Uniform, school trips and so on. However I am not sure I would send a child there. DD knew quite a number of her peers via extra curricular activities, and almost without exception they were members of the Chelsea/Kensington/NottingHill/Belgravia international banquier elite. I think some pps have it wrong in their class analysis. Top British schools are very very international, and to a noticeable extent there is a social divide between the international rich and the British. Indeed DD once asked, aged about 12, why others were allowed to be so racist against the English. If you were not at SPGS you had to be stupid, despite the fact DD often helped others complete their homework. (There is little evidence that teaching, especially maths, at SPGS was better than elsewhere.) And if you were not aiming for a top US University, you were clearly deficient in the brains department.

The level of arrogance was stupendous, as was the assumption that "my child" came first. One mother once bent my ear about the unfairness of taxing non-doms. She did not understand that perhaps she should be contributing towards a country she had lived in for well over a decade. A bit older, and DD described it as toxic. She also said that one of her friends openly admitted that his parents voted Trump. Yes the man was a clown but he was more likely to help protect the wealth of the very rich.

So a baked potato is weird. But it is a start. Those kids, once they have completed their expensive Ivy educations will be running firms like Amazon, Goldman Sachs and Google. Perhaps they should know that the poor exist.

Xenia · 25/06/2018 07:28

Yes, most rich children cannot get into St Paul's as they will not pass the exam as I said above. There will be some children who aren't rich at the school but not many. if it's like North London Collegiate where my daughter went there will be some paying no fees at all.

The Beckhams are a good example - children probably not particularly clever so I think they didn't pass the exams for the more academic London schools their parents otherwise wanted them to go to.

St Paul's girls will do all kinds of charity work of course but people on the thread don't like to think that is so. I wouldn't have called it austerity lunch ( but may be as someone said up thread a girl made up tht title so we should cut her some slack) as it's political . Austerity politics to me means the poor get fed because we conserve the state's money and thus means food for all whilst Labour non austerity policis means spend spend spend now so the less well off go hungry later.

I certainly agree with people connecting with others of course coming from my mining origins and being a Geordie!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 25/06/2018 07:30

ermmm Xenia if the poor get fed please explain the massive rise in food bank use. Food for all? I think you may be out of touch.

malificent7 · 25/06/2018 07:40

The idea is nice but the choice of food is
.....er normal and perfectly lovely. That is what jars.
I hear they normally have duck or salmon.
I do wonder how long it will take for the ordinary people to get fed up of the inequality of this country and rise up. Sadly we are not as spirited as our French cousins!

halcyondays · 25/06/2018 08:16

Sounds like a nice normal school lunch, it's hardly gruel.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 25/06/2018 08:25

Off topic and I’ve only read the first page but I hate those poverty challenge bollocks, try it for a year then I might care what your opinion is.