Husband being rude about Woman's Aid

[Louise322]

AIBU to say he's wrong and feel uncomfortable about it?

He make a joke earlier (makes them quite often), about me moaning at him for leaving his washing next to the wash basket

He said "Oh go on then, phone woman's aid!"

I think it's really distasteful so I called him out on it.

He said they're a very OTT organisation, and will encourage women to 'seek help' for the smallest reasons.

He also says MN advises 'calling Woman's Aid' far too often.

For example, he said they're very interfering and even commented that Adam from Love Island, a scripted programme, shows 'warning signs'

I said it isn't all that scripted and he's a genuine prick.

Sorry, not sure about the point of this thread. Just really unhappy about DH's view!

I said it isn't all that scripted and he's a genuine prick - Adam or your husband.

Clutter Adam, from what I can tell of him

Sadly I think a lot of supposedly educated men still think like this. I know my own DB did and he's a very intelligent high-flyer. He's recently had a daughter though and now you'd think he was the first person ever to notice sexism in the world.

I don't really know how we'd tackle views like this though as they're born of privelege. How do you convince people that their lengthy experience of how the world works aren't accurate? That actually, organisations such as Women's Aid are probably not heavy handed enough rather than being too much so.

Shapely I wholeheartedly agree

YANBU. I've volunteered with women's aid, they are fab and a literal lifeline for so many. Since volunteering I recognise warning signs left, right and centre - for eg I don't find possessive men as 'looking after their gf' or 'protecting', my internal alarm goes off. I'm also horrified at how many people like Christian Grey in the films - the emotional abuse is staggering

Women's aid definitely isn't interfering. Sadly it's a common way of thinking round me - 'a man isn't abusive as he only hits her when he's drunk' for example

I worked for WA and was often accused of working for a ‘man hating’ organisation.
I went to a big conference once and there was a group of men outside chanting all sorts of things at us 🙄

He sounds like a dick

He sounds nasty and unpleasant.

I would hate that, too, OP. Women's Aid is a lifeline for so many women. My DSis suffered DV in her first marriage and I saw how it had affected her once the marriage was over. I saw the way she blamed herself and wouldn't allow me to say a word against him. (I hadn't known about it when she was married to him, I missed the clues because I didn't want to see them.) Now that she's in a happy marriage, she realises just how abusive her first marriage was.

So the fact that your DH makes jokes about Women's Aid doesn't paint him in a good light at all, he sounds very unpleasant.

My OH can be similar - he enjoys the wind up and he knows how angry it makes me.

Part of me thinks I should make him volunteer for Women's Aid for a while to see if his threshold for joking about #everydaysexism etc. is increased

He sounds very dismissive and not sensitive to the reasons why orgs like WA are essential for so many. Very disappointing.

I have heard some children jokingly saying they'll call Childline when they're annoyed at their parents for not letting them do something they want to. But we make allowances for children. A grown man making that kind of joke is just either dismissive of the issues connected with DV or simply very juvenile, probably both.

YANBU, sadly hes not alone in this way of thinking, even some women i know are of the same opinion. I worked for WA for 3 years as a volunteer, i wish those people would spend some time helping out in the kids groups we did, where you see the trauma these children have over their 'hes ok really, hes just possessive/a bit of a twat when hes drunk' types that people make excuses for. Its a real eye opener.

2 women and children are murdered every week but women are overreacting?
OK, Louise322's DH. Whatever you say