To not want to tell anyone the date?!

[stressingaboutbirth]

I'm expecting dc2 very soon, planned c section because of horrific 1st birth.

Safe say, I'm shitting it! I'm getting fed up of the constant guilt tripping already because I mentioned that I just want a few days, maybe a week or so just to recover and bond with baby/try to establish breastfeeding.

I've said I might feel great and be happy for people to come earlier than expected but also not to expect anything in the first week. MIL has taken this very badly, which is making me feel like shit.

A c section, although a common procedure is still major abdominal surgery, why is it that because a newborn is involved you're expected to play hostess and have everyone bombard you?! No one would demand to see you if it weren't for the fact of newborn cuddles!

I know people mean well and are excited to welcome our baby but it's really stressing me out.

AIBU to not tell them the date? I'm feeling so pressured already.

Or do I just tell them all the date and then my phone off/lock my doors

Tell them a date two weeks ahead of planned c section & then SUPRISE baby arrives early

@sharkwithknees I wish my MIL would have helped us out.

They rocked up, with FIL’s Mum and promptly sat on the sofa and got waited on. No offer to wash up, do any ironing, bring dinner etc.

I was a lot stricter the second time around.

I wouldn't tell anyone the date. When I had ds my section date was changed twice and the time was changed so many times. I hated waiting, feeling hungry and thirsty and feeling obliged to update frustrated and impatient relatives didn't help. If there is a next time I will tell the people looking after dc the estimated date and tell everyone else that I don't know.

My in laws didn't behave very well when we had our first child, so with our second I decided I'd do things on my terms. I told them the due date was 3 weeks later than it was. I was planning on telling them we'd had the baby a week after he'd arrived, my husband did tell them, but they were away on holiday . It meant that not only did we not get the barrage of messages asking if we'd had the baby yet, I also had a week of peace!

Just lie about the date, have the baby and then just say it was moved or something. My in laws never actually asked why I had the baby a month early (he was a week early from the real due date) I think they forgot about it?

You need to ask people to bring food and help when they visit even if they don’t offer. ‘Please could you bring some sandwiches for lunch MIL?’. When they arrive ask them to make the tea and wash up afterwards. If anyone comments about the mess ‘ooh could you do a bit of hoovering for me? My stitches are killing me and it would be a great help, thanks’.

@bluesmartiesarethebest I’m not a subtle person, I tried all of that. Fell on deaf ears.

Tell them a week later. If you happen to feel upto visitors.... guess whose made an early arrival!? If you dont it buys you time. I know you shouldnt have to lie but its hard when you know youve had a new grandbaby, i saw my sister in the recovery suite when she had my neice as i was looking after her other child who she wanted to meet her sister and honestly (she had been cleaned up!!) It was beautiful moment.