Concerned about DS contact

[Justkeeepsmiling]

Ive also put on Legal matters, but have had no response so thought id give it a go on here.... name changed
Im hoping someone can advise me, My ex is a phsyco, he will never admit it, but he is an evil piece of work. Lies about everything, jealous and very controlling. We have a ds8 together, i have always had concern's with his mood swings and behaviour, however, a court order was put in place so not a lot I could do about him seeing ds,started off with supervised visits in a contact centre and then slowly progressed to unsupervised contact. Has had many girlfriends over the 6 years we have been separated, all ended due to his behaviour. A situation happened a couple of years ago, which meant he had to move back in with parents, he text to say he wasnt in a good place and stopped seeing ds for a while, he text again about 10 months after contact stopped, asking to see ds, I reluctantly agreed but insisted contact to be supervised by a parent, I had loads of texts (i mean LOADS...Prob around 50...one after another) from both him and his mum saying he is a changed man, has been to councelling, sorted himself out, i still insisted supervised, so thats what happend untill about a few months ago, parents were away so had no one to supervise, wasnt with a gf at the time, Contact had been smooth so I said ok for a few hours, and thats how its been,.....Anyway, i have found out on the grapevine that he has finished with his most recent gf due to smashing her house up and being aggresive towards her, so obviously not a changed man, I am now obviously concerned for ds wellbeing when with ex, I know if i text ex and say back to supervised contact, he is going to ask why, What do I say? I have no way of proving he has done this, and he is definately going to deny it, What can I do?

Think about proving risk - was your son present to these fights? Ask his previous girlfriend maybe?

Consider asking for contact at granny’s house only

Or at a contact centre

Or consider completely withholding contact.

Consider sending your ex literature on the damage an abusive parent does to a child’s emotional well-being

DS has been witness to arguments, but no physical fighting.

Ex lives at Grannys house so would more than likely take him there anyway.

I have messaged his exgf, but had no response.

If i suggest a contact centre, he is going to want to know why, also, When it was in a cc before, there was a £50 charge for every visit, so he isnt going to want to do that again.

I so want to stop contact, i feel this is the best thing, however, ds looks forward to seeing his dad- but the what young child wouldnt love playing on the xbox for 6 hours at a time? He is at an age that I would have to tell him why he isnt seeing his dad, even if it was a small fib to keep him content,

The literature idea is good, might research something and send it.

Thanks for your advise @Melliegrantfirstlady