I don't want to work at all

[mklenfke]

I know I have to, unless I win the lottery, but I really hate working, but not for the reasons you'd expect.

For as long as I can remember I've been anxious and worried about everything, and working has only intensified this. I'm worried everytime I send an email, about doing something wrong, about messing things up. It keeps me up at night. I fear I'll have done something almost impossible, like send an email with confidential data or something without knowing it, even though this is impossible as surely I would know?

I've had slightly different jobs and each one has brought worries. I even get worried I'll say things without meaning to, or even worse, I'll say something that comes out wrong and then not remenber saying it! I replay everything in my head over and over.

It's no exaggeration to say working ruins my life. I can never switch off on weekends or holidays, I think about work all the time. I'm worried I'll come back and get called into a meeting for doing something wrong.

I just don't know what to do, or if there's even an industry that won't carry these worries. I used to work in retail and that worried me too - I would always worry a customer would complain about me even though I'd done nothing wrong.

I don't think this is normal but I really don't know what I can do, if anything. :(

Sounds like you could benefit from some CBT and maybe look into the sort of job you think you would really enjoy? I re-trained and changed career completely and love it now, sure there are the odd worries about work sometimes but it doesn't consume me.

Is that an option for you op? Have a long think about the kind of job you would feel happier in and have less worries?

My friend has this. It gets better sometimes, worse at times. She has benefitted from CBT - would you consider tslking to your GP about it? Or Google your local services should be something like IAPT CBT for anxiety or Talking Therapies - you might be able to self-refer.

That sounds an awful lot like anxiety. If it is, even if you didn't have to go to work any more it would transfer to the other stuff in your life - relationships, housework, driving etc. Chat with your doctor needed.

Oh my god you’ve summed up exactly how I feel about working. I have had such issues with working my whole life. I’ve always worked until my children (2 with sen) but it has always stressed me out.

I’m not going t9 be able t9 help because I could have written your post, it’s so draining.

Work isn't ruining your life. Anxiety is. Have you had any help for you anxiety?

My love - in work the employer does not expect perfection. The employer expects an employee that fulfils the role that they were recruited for, allowing for human error, different styles of working and all sorts of other things that make up the dynamic relationship between employer and employee.

We're all just muddling through. Welcome to the rat race - you're one of many. :)

I could have wrote this! I have a work laptop and I actually check my emails every night to see what I am walking into the next day (I finish at 5, office open till 7). If I don't look then I can't sleep for panicking. I think I might have anxiety but I haven't told anyone. I wish I could just work outdoors as a ranger or something but don't have the skills / can't afford the lower paid outdoor jobs.

As velvet says, even if you gave up work it wouldn't solve your anxieties, it would probably just be money anxieties instead! Please look into getting some support for managing your feelings and coping strategies etc, it really could help you enormously.

I think some people go 'downhill' with their mental health if they don't have a purpose each day like going to work. It is all too easy to just be at home and think that is helping you cope but actually not doing much for your self esteem, confidence and social skills, the longer you don't work for the harder it would be to get back into it.

I feel for you but try and be strong and make a positive move into getting some help.

It's not work, it's your anxiety. If you make a mistake, what's the worst that can happen? Will you kill someone? If not and the worst thing is a complaining customer, so what? That's what most people would think. If this worry keeps you up at night, I would also suggest looking into therapy to deal with it.

I had exactly the same problem (amongst other things). Turns out I have OCD, and CBT absolutely changed my life. Please seek help for your anxiety, even if you don’t want to go to your GP, you should be able to self refer.

I could have written your post. I also find the anxiety actually leads to mistakes or things being missed or avoided which raises more issues. If it wasn't work, I'd be anxious about something else. For example a few weeks ago I was genuinely not worried about work for a brief minute so then I spent an hour convincing myself one of my parents was going to get seriously ill. I've had counselling in the past and am waiting for more sessions.

Maybe you'd be happier in a different kind of job? Something where you're kind of manning shift running a service rather than organising lots of tasks and emails might be better?

Eg shop worker, care assistant, receptionist, etc. Something not office based maybe? Might mean less money but more likely to be viable than no job. Or would going part time help? I suffer from insomnia for even very modest levels of job stress and find having Wednesdays off to be a godsend

Are you me?

Unfortunately I don't hate money so work is a necessary evil.

Definitely see your GP and discuss it.

I had been struggling for years with undiagnosed ADHD.

go and see your GP should be your first step.

I'm worried I'll come back and get called into a meeting for doing something wrong. because frankly, so what? What the very worst that could happen? In the case of gross misconduct, and that is way past the genuine mistake, you lose your job. Well, you remove that one from your CV if you need and you get yourself another job.

As your fears are not rational, that won't help you, but seeing a specialist will.

Wow seems a lot of people are in the same boat including me.
My job is ok, I can do pretty much whatever I want and it's 2 miles from home but I dread getting up in a morning. I recently had 2 weeks signed off sick and i loved it so it made it worse going back.

Ah, lovey! I know completely what you mean - although it sounds like your anxiety manifests itself differently to mine. I was rubbish when I was at work due to my MH problems and hated it. Now that I've been off having a baby for a bit it's given me a bit of perspective - I've been able to see that, actually, I'm ok at being a mum - because DS is doing OK - and, by extension, that maybe I wasn't as bad at being At Work as I thought.
Sounds like it's not so much the fear of making a mistake, but the fear of what it'd mean, that paralyses you. @KatharinaRosalie says, what's the worst that could happen? I suspect you're not thinking "I'd feel a bit silly" but "I'd lose my job and everyone would hate me and I'd be a worthless human being". I say that because - that's the way I think.
Like the others say, do seek some help. Talk to your GP, they may be able to refer you for counselling. Let us know how you do xx

While it does sound like you suffer from anxiety and would benefit from professional help, it's worth remembering that work is not always a Good Thing. Lots of jobs are inherently pointless and stupid, and far too many employers treat staff like shit - underpaying them and putting them under completely unnecessary pressure, because of this belief that 'ordinary' people are feral scum who must be crushed into obedience and obey their masters. There is too much of the attitude that a scared, insecure workforce is more productive (when actually, people who are treated well by an employer are much more likely to do good work and stay in their jobs).

Completely agree with the above. The majority work their arse off, spending more time at work than at home with family, for an absolute pittance wage to make the minority obscenely wealthy.

Well. I thought this was normal until I read pps.

And I also play the lottery in hopes I'll never have to go in again.